An Ultimatum
by poetif
Summary: "Then what are you expecting Elliot?" She asks, facing him. "For you to acknowledge that what happened between us wasn't some fluke or because you were fucking curious," he answers. "When you damn well know the real reason." Olivia and Elliot. Happily Ever After? Rated M for language and content. Story is mine. Characters remain the property of their orginal creators.
1. The Ultimatum

**A/N: I can honestly say that I don't know where this came from but hopefully I can figure out where it's going. If you've never read any of my stories before, I advise you to check the bio, especially if you're a Tuckson fan. That relationship never existed in my head nor will it happen in this story…lol. Happy reading people! It's my 20** **th** **E/O fanfic baby!**

December 27th, 2016

After dropping Noah off at preschool, Olivia grabs some coffee at her favorite java haunt and heads into work. As she saunters through the bullpen of the 1-6, she notices it's quieter than usual. Though it's only Tuesday morning and most days start slow, it seems unusually subdued.

When she approaches their desks, Carisi and Rollins see her and immediately pretend to be working. Olivia of course notices and stops between them.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing Lou," Carisi tries.

She turns to Amanda expecting a more complete answer.

"Someone's in your office."

Olivia turns her head in that direction, noticing for the first time that her door is closed and the blinds are drawn shut.

"What do you mean someone's in my office?" She asks. "Who the hell is it?"

"Never had the pleasure," Rollins tells her.

"Neither have I but Fin seems to know him," Carisi adds. "He's in there too."

"It's not one of the brass?"

"I don't think so," Rollins says. "He's dressed a little too casually to be from 1PP."

Now she's genuinely curious.

"Thanks," Olivia tells her. "You guys can get back to pretending to work now."

The detectives share a knowing smirk and does as she asks but are not so secretly waiting, expecting fireworks or some sort of entertainment.

She throws her long wool trench and scarf over her arm and continues purposefully towards her office. Approaching, she hears the voice of her reluctant number two. He states something to the uninvited guest she wishes would've been uttered and followed through on, ten minutes prior to her arrival.

"After everything she's been through since you left, your bitch ass picks now to show up," Fin says, forcefully. "Why don't you just save her the drama and leave before she gets here."

Olivia chooses then to push through the door. Initially she sees the tension in her longtime friend's back, but over his shoulder, she catches and holds the eyes of a man she hasn't crossed paths with in five and a half years.

" _She's_ already here," she announces, depositing her coat on a nearby rack. "Now someone wanna tell me what the hell is going on?"

Both men are surprised when she doesn't make a beeline to her former partner to employ that infamous right hook or, at the very least, use more colorful language upon seeing him.

"I was just telling Stabler that ambushing you at work is a piss poor idea," Fin explains. "And that leaving would be a better one."

"And I was telling Fin that you're more than capable of making the decision to toss my ass out all by yourself," Elliot counters.

The choice is a swift one.

"I can take it from here," Olivia tells the sergeant as he moves towards the door. "Can you field my calls for me?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she says, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I can handle it," she continues. "But I appreciate you looking out for me," she whispers.

"Always."

She rests her palm against the door after Fin's closed it, takes a deep breath before turning to find Elliot watching her. A salt and pepper goatee is just beginning to grow, his hairline is getting him closer to needing to just go for the bald look and he has a few more laugh lines.

But other than that, it's her ex-partner. In the flesh.

His eyes are as blue as she remembers and through the gray cashmere V-neck he wears, she can tell his chest is just as strong and his arms, as defined. The black slacks don't reveal the tone of his legs but she's damn sure she wouldn't be disappointed with those either.

The instant physical attraction isn't unfamiliar, but it's been years so her immunity to him has diminished. Fortunately, she remembers all the unreturned calls, emails and text messages and it's like a glass of frigid water to the face.

Olivia moves towards her desk but the 6'0" tall, 200lb man, stands in her path. He surprises her by pulling her into his arms and doesn't let go until she's hugging him back. It's an awkward moment but she eventually gives in and returns the embrace.

Elliot turns his nose towards her neck and she feels his warm breath on her skin. That's when she knows it's time to let go.

Sidestepping, Olivia moves around him and finally gets away from the comforting vortex that is her former partner's arms, and manages to make it to her chair. She deposits her work satchel near her feet and powers up the laptop.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing here?" She asks, sipping her coffee.

He takes it upon himself to get comfortable in one of the guest chairs in front of her desk, sitting wide-legged in a recognizable position, hands clasped in his lap.

"Kathleen's getting married."

Olivia's eyebrows raise.

"Wow," she responds. "Congratulations to her," she adds. "Let me know where they're registered and I'll make sure to send a nice gift, now…

"I will, but that's not why I'm here…well, it's not the only reason."

"Elliot, I have work to do," she begins. "Can't imagine what you have to say that you couldn't have said before all this time, so just spit it out."

He shifts uncomfortably, looking down at the floor and worrying his hands before meeting her eyes again. Nervousness is something Olivia rarely saw in him. She has a feeling that whatever he's come for, isn't going to be a cakewalk for either of them.

Then again, she owes him nothing.

"The guy she's marrying is some kind of software whiz," Elliot begins. "Just sold an app for a ridiculous amount of money," he adds. "So, they're skipping the tradition of having me pay for everything."

She exhales impatiently, still waiting for him to get to the point.

"Her only request for a wedding gift…is that you and I reconcile."

"Excuse me?"

"Katie…she uh, she gave me an ultimatum," he explains. "Either I make it right between us or she's gonna let _Jacob's_ father walk her down the aisle."

Speechless.

Eyebrows raised, mouth open, shaking her head, forgetting to breathe…speechless. With her throat suddenly dry, Olivia swallows a few times but still, she's got nothing.

Kathleen had written her many times after Elliot retired. In her first letter to check on Olivia's well-being, the young woman had written that putting pen to paper was a lost art form. The cop in her was skeptical initially, thinking maybe it was on behalf of her father. But the girl wrote about her own life and rarely mentioned him.

The two women share the same sense of humor and their correspondence left her smiling, often on the darkest of days. It was a constant battle not to ask about Elliot but she managed and the letters went on for a few years until…life got in the way.

Now she knows it wasn't solely on her end.

"Say something, please."

"This isn't my problem Elliot," she contends. "Why not just tell her we've made up? How the hell would she know any different?"

He mumbles something she can't quite decipher.

"What was that?"

"She'll know," he repeats. "Because she wants you to be my plus one."

Olivia slides her glasses up to the top of her head as if it'll improve her hearing.

"What?" She asks, nearly gasping. "Why is this so important to her, better yet, why wouldn't you be going with your wife?"

" _Ex_ -wife," he corrects, holding up his bare ring finger.

With the lack of a tan line, Olivia guesses it's not a recent development.

"Divorced four years now," he informs her, confirming her suspicions. "She remarried last year."

"Well aren't you just full of surprises."

"From what I could dig up, he's a good man," Elliot tells her. "Eli seems to like him…can't complain."

Olivia doesn't know whether to offer her condolences for the final demise of his marriage or say she's glad that everyone's so well adjusted.

So, she skips both.

"I still don't get why Kathleen's so adamant that we…reconnect," she says. "It's been nearly six years, we've all moved on –

"To use her words, _'Liv's known me for half my life, to get married without her there seems_ _wrong'_."

Tears threaten but she manages to keep them at bay.

"As sweet as that is, I'm not sure that I could even get away for the wedding," she begins, already making excuses. "And if I do manage, I'm quite certain I can offer my well-wishes without agreeing to be BFFs with you again."

Elliot stands, rounds her desk and rests himself near her coffee. He immediately notices the angel faced little boy on her laptop and in a picture frame but manages to suppress his naturally inquisitive nature.

"You'd have to ask Kathleen why this is so important to her," he begins. "But I do know that she inherited my bullheadedness so she's serious about not letting me walk her down the aisle."

"I'm guessing if that wasn't the case you wouldn't be here," she surmises, looking up at him.

He simply nods his agreement.

"And with the way I left, I also know that you don't owe me shit."

"So far, we're in agreement," Olivia says. "What are you gonna do?"

He moves off her desk and towards the coat rack where he gathers his long black wool coat, throwing it over his arm preparing to leave.

"I'll explain to Katie how I fucked up," he answers. "You were right when you said it's not your problem. I'll deal with it."

"Elliot, wait."

He watches as she pulls a business card from the holder on her desk, flips it over and scribbles on the other side.

"My new cell number," Olivia says, writing. "Here."

Elliot quickly steps forward and retrieves the card from her outstretched hand. He looks at the number for a few seconds, seemingly trying to memorize it. Then, gives her a small smile.

"Thanks."

"Just…call me later this week and we'll set something up."

"I will."

He puts on his coat, turns to leave and she stops him with his hand on the knob.

"Elliot?"

At the sound of her voice, he faces her once more. She doesn't want to ask and hates how vulnerable it makes her sound.

"Kathleen's wedding…that the only reason you're here now?"

"No," he answers without hesitation. "But we should probably table this conversation until we're in a place where you can feel free to scream and/or hit me if you deem it necessary."

He gets a smirk out of her and calls it a victory.

"You're probably right."

"I'll call you."

He closes the door quietly behind him and takes a moment to look at all the changes that were made after his sudden departure. There's no cage in the squad room anymore, the command center that used to have all the latest tech has been scaled down, simplified and two strangers now inhabit the desks that he and Olivia shared for over a decade.

Elliot continues through the bullpen but stops at his former colleague's desk.

"Thanks for letting us talk."

"Not my decision," Fin says, looking up. "I would've told ya ass to go to hell."

"Me too," he agrees. "Good thing she's better than both of us."

Fin takes the comment for what it is, an acknowledgement that he's the one at fault. He stands and extends his open palm to Elliot which, he immediately grasps.

"If she gives you a shot and you fuck it up," he begins in a lower voice. "You and me…we got problems."

"Understood," Elliot agrees, squeezing then releasing his hand.

He continues through the squad to the elevators. The minute he's gone, Rollins and Carisi bee- line to Fin's desk.

"What just happened?" Carisi starts.

"And who the hell was that?" Rollins asks.

"Liv's ex-partner," he responds to the Georgia peach. "And if you wanna be around as long as I have, you'll mind your business."

"Damn, how many partners did the lieutenant have?" asks Carisi.

"I don't know," Fin tells him. "But if you're smart, he's the one you'll never bring up."

 **E/N: Well, I know it was a short beginning but what did you guys think?**


	2. The Conversation

**A/N: I think it's time these two kids talked without an audience. Don't you?**

December 29th, 2016

It's Thursday night and Olivia's cell begins ringing as she puts her key in the lock, simultaneously trying to juggle groceries, her purse and work satchel.

"Hey Liv," greets Lucy after managing the door. "Let me help."

"Thank you," she says as the babysitter takes the packages from her arms.

She drops her keys and purse on the entry table and swipes the accept button on her phone just before it stops ringing.

"Hello my sweet boy," she says to Noah as she brings the phone to her ear. "Benson."

"Pet names already," Elliot kids on the other end. "It's kind of soon but I'll take it."

"Wasn't talking to you," Olivia tells him.

"Now I'm curious."

"I have a son now Elliot, he's three," she reveals. "I fostered him for a year before adopting."

Silence reigns on the other end. After seeing the little boy's picture in her office, at minimum he'd thought Simon had wormed his way back into her life and had given her a nephew to show for it.

Her news is unquestionably the better version.

"Elliot?"

"I'm here," he says. "It's just…I'm so damn happy for you Liv," he adds, voice affected. "I always said you'd make a great mom."

"I remember."

She puts a hand over the cell as she says goodbye to Lucy until morning and locks the door behind her.

"So, I've been giving this some thought and I think you'll be okay," Olivia offers.

"You do?"

"Yeah," she tells him. "We can treat it like an undercover, pretend we're back to being the best of pals," she explains. "A few hours of making nice isn't gonna hurt."

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Olivia asks. "Kathleen gets her reconciliation, you get to walk her down the aisle, everybody's happy."

"Liv," he says. "I don't wanna lie to my kid."

"Unless she still believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny," she points out. "I'm pretty sure it won't be the first time."

Olivia turns to a kid friendly show, sits Noah in the floor and gives him his toy airplanes to play with while she gets dinner ready.

"You have a point and I deserve that," Elliot admits. "But do you think we could try it my way before we resort to dishonesty?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Just a small project."

"What kind of _project_?"

"I recently moved into a new place and it's basically empty," he explains. "Figured you could help decorate it."

"I'm a cop Elliot, not an interior designer."

"You have to be better at it than I am."

"Why?" She asks. "Because I have lady parts?"

He laughs deeply on the other end and she ignores how much she's missed hearing it.

"No," he manages. "I just thought it'd be an opportunity to get to know each other again."

Elliot's honesty surprises her.

"I run the squad during the day and spend mornings, nights and most weekends with my son," Olivia says. "When exactly, do you think I'll have time to help you pick out fine home furnishings?"

"I'm only looking for a few hours a week Liv," he urges. "I'm told this place needs a feminine touch."

"You have three daughters."

"Maureen lives in Connecticut, Elizabeth is busy with school and well…you know what Kathleen's up to," Elliot tells her. "I'm out of daughters."

And hopefully, he thinks, Olivia is out of excuses. When he's met with silence, he starts to panic that she'll renege on helping him.

"Liv, I know I fucked up," he begins, going a different route. "And I have a lot of nerve asking you for anything, especially this," he adds. "So, I propose that you come by just once…to talk."

"To what end Elliot?" She asks. "Like I said, we've both moved on with our lives."

"I can't say that."

"Say what?"

"That I've moved on from how our partnership ended," he answers. "Yes, my life moved forward but that doesn't mean I stopped thinking –

"Thinking what exactly?" She asks. "That I'd just be waiting around for you to decide to give a shit?"

"Hell no," he answers immediately. "But…can we please do this in person?" He asks. "We both have a lot to say and I'd rather not get into it over the phone."

She knows he's right. They need a face to face if for no other reason than to vent her frustrations about his sudden intrusion into her life. Olivia takes a few moments to think before responding to his suggestion. Friday's are surprisingly slow for them and she tends to leave early.

"Fine," she agrees. "I have a couple of hours after work tomorrow. I can try and come by then."

"Great," he tells her. "I'll text you the address."

"Okay."

"G'nite Liv."

"Night Elliot."

She finishes making dinner, feeds and bathes Noah before putting him down then gets ready for bed. For the first time in a long time, she's nervous to see someone. When Olivia found him in her office, she didn't have a chance to think about it long enough to become affected.

The conversations she's had with him in her head for the last six years, will finally be given a voice and the audience for which it was intended.

December 30th, 2016

It's nearly 6 o'clock when she rolls her SUV to a halt in front of the Tribeca address she's been given. If this is what an NYPD pension gets you, she thinks, perhaps she was a bit hasty in not retiring a couple of years back.

There's a doorman waiting to greet her before the automatic doors slide open. The five-story building has a swanky lobby complete with crystal raindrop chandelier, marble floor and brass elevators. Olivia steps up to the reception desk, simultaneously eager and reluctant to converse with her former partner.

"Olivia Benson to see Elliot Stabler," she tells the white haired elder gentleman.

He immediately gets on the phone and after a series of nods and " _yes sirs_ ", she is handed a single key.

"This is for the elevator," he informs her. "Insert it into the fifth-floor slot, turn it clockwise and when the number lights up, it will begin to move."

"Thank you."

The box on a string climbs smoothly and quickly to the top floor. And with a _ding_ , the doors open into what she assumes is Elliot's foyer. He's waiting to greet her.

"Hey Liv," he says. "Thanks for coming."

"You're welcome," she tells him, looking around. "You haven't done anything I'm gonna have to watch you get arrested for have you?"

"No," he laughs. "Kathleen talked me into putting some seed money into her fiancé's app," he explains. "Let's just say…it's paid off."

"I can see that."

"Can I take your coat?"

"Sure," she says and watches him enter a walk-in closet to her right.

She waits and they round the corner to her left to enter the kitchen. It looks like something out of a home design magazine. Olivia rests on one of the low-backed brown leather bar stools parked in front of the cream speckled granite bar, while Elliot roots around in his Sub-Zero fridge.

The area is warm with cherry wood cabinetry, nickel pulls on the drawers and coordinated hanging lights over the island.

"I have water, cranberry juice, wine, tea…"

"Water's fine."

Elliot pulls out a Fiji and slides it to her. She takes a slow drink from the bottle, giving them both an opportunity to gather their thoughts.

"Been a long time," she begins, her voice low. "Why am I here?"

He remains on his side of the bar, stalls for a moment with another sip then rests his forearms against the surface, meeting her eyes. Seeing that she's in no mood for small talk, he gets to the point.

"I uh, moved out about a month before the shooting," Elliot starts. "It's the reason I volunteered for training at Quantico the week Sonja was murdered," he adds. "Kathy and I…we were having problems again."

And she never suspected a thing.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because there were times I thought you rooted harder for my marriage than we did," he answers. "Kathy and I both knew it was really over."

"Well I'm sure you didn't invite me here to talk about your divorce."

He manages a small grin at her blunt approach.

"You're right," Elliot agrees. "I didn't."

He moves to join her on the same side of the bar, getting comfortable on an adjacent stool.

"I uh, got all of your messages, emails...texts," he confesses. "I decided to wait until after I'd firmly made my decision before listening to any of 'em."

"So, Fin was right," Olivia offers. "You thought I'd try to change your mind."

He picks at the label of the near empty bottle.

"You're the only one that could have."

She gives him a sideways glance to seek out his eyes but they're downturned.

"Okay," she says. "Then what?"

"I was waiting to find some sense of normalcy again, for the dust to settle around the department," he begins. "And for me to get used to having to see my son on a schedule."

After the tears she's cried for him, _because_ of him, there's no way in hell Olivia will allow herself to offer him comfort. Instead she remains quiet, letting him continue.

"Nearly seven months after the shooting, I was on my way to the 1-6," he informs her. "But when I walked past Randall's, I saw you guys sitting with the rookies," he goes on. "You were laughing, patting a guy who was probably your new partner on the back and…I realized that wasn't my world anymore."

 _Poor baby_ , she thinks.

"I was literally on the outside looking in and it didn't feel good," Elliot says. "You'd stopped calling by then so…I decided I should get on with my life too," he tells her. "Ended up developing better relationships with my kids, started seeing a shrink…got into yoga."

"Great," she says, taking one last sip of her water. "Thanks for the story, I'm gonna go ahead and go now."

"What?"

"Can you get my coat please?" She asks, standing.

"Olivia, you're obviously pissed," he tells her, standing as well. "Why don't you just say whatever the hell you need to say," he adds. "I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

"Really?" She asks. "Okay."

Suddenly, she feels the need to get some space from him and ends up at the only other piece of furniture in the room.

A pool table.

"You know what didn't feel good Elliot?" She begins. "Racking my brain trying to come up with what the hell I could've said or done that day to make you dodge me for months."

"You didn't –

"And I stopped calling because you never _fucking_ answered," Olivia interrupts. "Not once."

"I got a message to you while I was dealing with everything," he tells her. "I tried to say - you didn't get it?"

"Oh, you mean your little note and that Cracker Jack sized badge?"

"I didn't know how—

"Tell me Elliot," she goes on, using the cue ball to knock the others around. "Who or what exactly, were you always gonna be faithful to?" Olivia asks, pushing the balls around more forcefully. "Because it sure as hell couldn't have been me or our friendship."

He doesn't know how to answer that so he remains silent, prompting his former partner to continue.

"You know…I wore that medallion around my neck for weeks thinking it meant more than it did," she laughs dryly. "I'm pretty sure I was still wearing it the _one_ day you saw me manage to have a smile on my face so soon after you left."

"I'm sorry," he manages.

"For which part?" She asks. "Reaffirming my abandonment issues, not being there when I needed you –

"Liv –

"No, I wanna know," she continues. "Which part are you sorry for?" She repeats. "Because I thought if not for anything else, surely my _so-called_ best friend would show up after I was kidnapped and tortured by a sadistic psychopath!"

"You didn't need me!"

Bringing back her arm isn't a second thought, and releasing the ball with violent force isn't even a first one. She hurls it in his direction not out of malice, but in a move of self-preservation for his sake and for Noah's.

Because Olivia wanted to _shoot_ his ass, and her son needs his mother.

What she doesn't anticipate is her intended target's failure to duck. And the speed, velocity and precision with which she delivered the solid, resin sphere, serves to not only connect with skin and bone, but drop him with a sickening thump to the oak floor.

"Ow," he groans. "Son of a bitch!"

"Shit," she whispers to herself, rushing to his aid.

He's balled up holding the left side of his face when she sees a trickle of blood run quickly away from his left eyebrow.

"Shit," she repeats, kneeling beside him. "I'll get you some ice."

Olivia scrambles to her feet and starts throwing open drawers until she comes across a dish towel and a Ziploc bag. She holds the cloth beneath the dispenser in the fridge, then stuffs it into the plastic bag making an ice pack. When she returns to the other side of the counter, Elliot's struggling to get up.

"I don't think you should move right away," she tells him, placing the bag in his hand. "You could have a concussion."

She goes to the sink to moisten a paper towel before returning to him.

"I'm not dizzy, confused or seeing double and I didn't lose consciousness," he says, climbing to his feet to sit on a stool. "I've had enough concussions to know…that I don't have a concussion."

"I know what a concussion feels like Elliot," Olivia reveals, standing at his side to dab at his swelling brow. "As well as a split lip, bruised face, cracked ribs and a broken wrist."

"I didn't know –

"You didn't check," she corrects. "And I'm pretty sure it wasn't a secret," she adds, dabbing more firmly.

"Ow."

She drops the paper towel onto the counter and steps away, turns her back on him, rests her hands on her waist.

"Maybe you _deserve_ a concussion," she says.

"Oh, that's real nice," Elliot tells her, bringing a hand to his temple. "I'm pretty sure my head hasn't hurt this bad since that time I got thrown off a roof."

"And there's a nasty bump forming there too," Olivia says after facing him again, but keeps her distance. "Sorry."

"Are you?"

"I thought you'd duck," she reasons.

"If you'd have thrown a punch, maybe," he says, "But you've dated professional baseball players Liv," he reminds her. "Obviously, you learned a thing or two."

She quickly looks away, trying to hide a smirk before meeting his eyes again.

"That was at least ten years ago," Olivia points out. "Maybe your reflexes just aren't what they used to be."

"Or, maybe there's no way in hell I could've predicted you'd lob a hundred-mile-an-hour cue ball at my damn head," he counters, wincing at the same time.

"I _am_ sorry," she says, more sincerity in her tone. "I just…when you said I didn't need you –

"You didn't," Elliot contends. "You still had Cragen, Munch, Fin…your _new_ partner."

Olivia shakes her head in disbelief.

"And I wasn't as close to any of them as I was to you," she contends. "You can't tell me you didn't know that," she asserts. "You left me there to mourn you like-like you had died!"

He drops the paper towel and reaches for the abandoned ice pack to place against his no doubt aching head.

They're quiet for a few moments.

"You're right," he acknowledges. "You were my best friend and I alienated you, treated you like shit because my life fell apart," he continues. "And for that I sincerely apologize Oliva. I can't think of a single reason why you'd wanna let me back into your life, let alone come to an event that might make you uncomfortable."

The strength of her ire weakens upon hearing his admission and she takes a deep breath, visibly relaxing.

"It was selfish of me to ask," he goes on. "I'll try to explain things to Katie…make her understand."

" _I'm_ still trying to understand why it's so important to her," she says, calmer. "She knows I'd come to her wedding in a heartbeat whether you and I were getting along or not," she adds. "And clearly you can afford a professional interior decorator."

"Like I said, you'd have to ask her," Elliot says. "As for hiring a professional, I'd rather spend the time getting to know each other again."

This version of him that she doesn't have to pull answers from, that's so liberal with how he's feeling, well…maybe he'll be worth letting back into her life. Even if it's only until the wedding is over.

"When's the ceremony?" Olivia asks, surprising him.

"It's uh…exactly a month from tomorrow."

"Good," she tells him. "That gives you 30 days to try and redeem yourself."

"And if I can't?"

"Then I suggest you either get comfortable with another man walking Kathleen down the aisle," she says. "Or the idea of lying to her."

Elliot simply nods his agreement.

"Thank you for doing this."

"Let me be clear," Olivia begins. "I'm doing it for her, not for you."

"Whatever the reason, I'm still grateful."

She reaches into her purse, grabs a pen and another business card, then slides it across the counter to him.

"Write down her new number," she tells him. "Since you can't tell me what her motives are, I'll have to find out for myself."

Elliot does as she asks and she pockets the card before gathering her purse, cueing him that she's ready to leave. He follows her to the foyer, and Olivia waits as he retrieves her coat from the walk-in closet.

"Saturdays are usually spent at the park if it's not too cold," she explains. "But more than likely we'll spend the morning doing cartoons in our pajamas," she continues. "Give me until noon and he should sleep through a couple hours of shopping."

She lets him help her into her trench and he takes it upon himself to pull her hair over her collar, inadvertently caressing his fingers against her nape. Both ignore the immediate feelings the sensation brings about. Olivia boards the waiting elevator but her former partner stops the doors before they can close.

"What's his name?"

A small smile shows up on her face in an instant. But it's gone almost as quickly. Someone she considered a large part of her old world, and the little guy that makes up her new world, are going to meet. There were times when she thought having a child would never happen. But when it did, however it did, she'd just assumed Elliot would be there to see it.

"Noah."

 **E/N: Ouch. I don't know if he would've preferred her right hook to his jaw instead of that cue ball to his head, but either way…painful. Deserved. But painful none the less.**


	3. Kathleen's TruthElliot's Confessions

**AN: Another day another dollar, another perp another collar. No real notes people, I've just always liked the way that sounds…lol. Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, I don't beta. Happy reading.**

December 30th, 2016 - Continued

After she says goodbye to Lucy until Monday, Olivia spends some reading and play time with Noah. They're into their third book and their second sing-a-long when she notices how sleepy he's gotten. He yawns several times in a matter of minutes and she hurries to get him fed before he passes out in his spaghetti-o's.

Olivia tucks him into his race car bed and pads off to have a hot shower and wash off the long day. Afterwards she gets comfortable under her own covers before picking up her cell. Another overdue conversation is about to begin.

The phone rings three times before there's an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kathleen, it's Olivia."

"Liv, wow," she says, a joyful tone in her voice. "It's been a long time, then again, I knew you'd be calling sooner rather than later."

"So, it's true," Olivia begins. "You sent your dad?"

"I know it sounds immature, but yeah," she admits. "I did."

The lieutenant sighs, but waits for her to continue.

"First let me say, you were a huge part of the reason I started taking more positive steps with my life," the young woman continues. "I'll always be grateful to you for that and I'm sorry I haven't been better at staying in touch."

"I haven't been the best at doing that either," Olivia admits. "Seems both of our lives have gotten busier in the last few years," she acknowledges. "Not your fault."

"Thank you for saying so," Kathleen tells her. "Now that that's out of the way, I'm sure you wanna know what the ultimatum's about."

"I can't lie," she says. "Your father and I have moved on with our lives…separately," she reminds her. "I'll admit it was extremely hard for me at first but to put it bluntly, I'm doing just fine without him," she adds. "So yes, I'm curious as to why you'd push this."

"I had two reasons actually," Kathleen begins. "It's important to me that you're there Liv, and with the way your partnership ended, I knew there would be tension the minute you and my dad were in the same room again," she explains. "So, I figured if you reconciled beforehand, I could skip having that kind of drama on my wedding day."

It makes good logical sense and she really can't argue with her thinking. Olivia just wishes his mere presence didn't stir such a combination of confusing emotions.

"And the second reason?"

She listens as the young woman laughs.

"You two are so much alike," Kathleen says. "Always wanting to get straight to the point."

"Can you blame me?" She asks. "I haven't seen him in nearly six years and now you're essentially forcing us on each other."

"Think about this Liv, has anyone ever been able to make Elliot Stabler do anything he didn't really wanna do?"

"You're not unlike him either," Olivia points out. "Neither of you seem capable of answering a question directly."

"Okay, okay," Katie laughs again. "I'll tell you but you're not gonna like it."

"Try me."

"I think you two need each another," she contends. "And more to the point, you're both too damn stubborn to admit it."

Olivia worries her lip, shakes her head and takes a deep breath before responding.

"Sounds like something you've told your parents," she says. "But it was a work partnership, not a marriage," she reminds her. "We were never…together like that Kathleen. I don't _need_ your father."

"You know all of our birthdays, you bought us Christmas gifts when we were kids," she points out. "You were the favorite aunt all the girls wanted to imitate and the one Richard had a crush on," she informs her, drawing a much-needed grin from the lieutenant. "That's not just a work partnership Liv, that's a family and people in families _need_ each other."

Kathleen allows her a moment to let that sink in.

"I saw what killing that girl did to my dad," she continues. "And if that wasn't bad enough, I watched as he agonized over the decision to leave SVU and effectively sever your partnership."

"It wasn't easy on anyone," Olivia points out.

"Maybe not," she agrees. "But even though I avoided talking about him in our letters, I was able to tell you were the one that took it the hardest."

A flash of breaking down in an interrogation room crosses her mind and she doesn't try to deny it.

"Look, Kathleen," she tries. "I'm a lieutenant now and I supervise SVU," she informs her. "I've also adopted a child and between him and work," she excuses. "There's very little room in my life for anything or _anyone_ else."

Olivia hears an exasperated sigh on the other end.

"Fine Liv," Katie starts. "But do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Ask yourself why other relationships haven't worked out, what it is you're looking for but haven't been able to find," she suggests. "Or why after all this time, even after _everything_ he's put you through," she continues. "You still couldn't manage to turn my dad away."

First Elliot renders her speechless, now it's his daughter.

"You may not feel like you need him, Olivia," Kathleen goes on. "But he needs you."

The younger woman doesn't wait on a response that likely won't come, just quietly disconnects the call.

The lieutenant lays silently, long after the conversation is over. She extinguishes the lamp, intent in trying to get some sleep but ends up tossing and turning for at least two hours. The younger woman forced her to think of things she'd thought were successfully kicked out of her head.

"David could've worked," she whispers to herself.

But knows logically that because his name came up with those warring escort services that managed to set up her former boss for murder, they would've broken up anyway.

And, as sweet as Cassidy was, she suspects that long-term has never been his cup of tea, in units he's worked in and in love.

Then there's Tucker.

She accepted his offer of a drink one night and suddenly they were in a relationship. It wasn't all bad. Noah even liked him. She was happy, until she wasn't. Because if she couldn't lay down her shield the first time she tried to adopt, to make herself look better on paper, Olivia sure as hell wasn't going to lay it down for him.

Her final thought before she manages to drift off, is the same as Kathleen's final question.

Why couldn't she have just turned her former partner away?

December 31st, 2016

Noah is chatting happily when Olivia pushes his stroller off Elliot's elevator and into the quiet of his foyer. He approaches them, immediately stooping to greet the handsome little guy.

"Hi buddy."

Olivia rounds the stroller, mimicking Elliot's position.

"Noah, this is Elliot," she says.

"Hi Eweeot," he manages, then begins pointing. "You got owie."

He stands again, covering his hand over the bump he got courtesy of his former partner. She eyes the purple and yellow bruise, immediately getting an apologetic look on her face before mouthing a quick _'sorry'_.

"Yeah," he tells Noah. "You're right but, it doesn't hurt that bad," he adds, then turns to his mom. "He's adorable."

"Thank you."

"And if I didn't know better I'd think you'd given birth to him yourself," Elliot comments. "I doubt I'm the first to say so."

"You're not, but thank you," she tells him. "Ready?"

"Don't you think you should actually see the place you're trying to help decorate?" He asks, grinning. "Might make things a bit easier."

"Right, well…show us the way."

"Follow me."

There's a brick, crescent shaped, half-wall a few feet from the kitchen that would be a great spot for a dining table. Opposite that, is a spacious area that will work as a formal living room. Another half wall made of inoperable framed windows sits on the other side. Opposite of them lies a large brick wood burning fireplace. Perfect for a cozy den.

Olivia is enamored with the pine floors, wood posts and beams, the high vaulted ceilings, and the combination of exposed brick and traditional walls. In seeing the two guest bedrooms, she thinks if those are the spares, the master must be obscenely large.

As they pass through another hall before he continues their tour, she pauses. At the end of the corridor, near the ceiling, lies a stained-glass window. Today's weather is nothing but clouds and gray skies, but she can imagine the sun coming through and throwing the hall into a kaleidoscope of reds, golds and greens.

"Reminded me of the church I went to as a kid," Elliot reveals.

"It's uh…beautiful," she comments. "Probably even more so on sunny days."

"You'd love it."

She turns to find him staring and meets his eyes. They've shared such a look many times. But, as time went on they learned to ignore it and so goes the continued habit, even though disregarding their mutual attraction is no longer necessary.

"Is uh…there more to see?" Olivia asks, breaking the contact.

"Yeah," he answers. "One last room."

Elliot leads them into the master bedroom. It has but one lone piece of furniture. There's a platform with two stone steps leading to a king-sized bed. You could fit a family of four on the behemoth.

"This area is what really sold me on the place," he tells her. "Look up."

Directly above the bed is a vaulted, glass and cast-iron skylight. Her eyes momentarily grow large as she takes a deep breath after hers is stolen. The gray sky that greeted them today is now darker and has opened a deluge over the city. Water runs in sheets down the large panes and flashes of lightening occasionally brighten the room.

"That's…wow."

"I know," Elliot says. "Rain or shine, every morning I open my eyes, there's an incredible view waiting for me."

"It's kind of…awe inspiring," Olivia tells him. "But it doesn't seem like the best day to be out and about."

"And when you said he'd sleep through a couple of hours of shopping you were right," he notices. "The kid's hibernating like a grizzly."

Olivia looks at the sleeping boy in the stroller and smiles.

"And he's just as hard to wake up," she admits. "Guess I should get him back home."

"Why don't you stay."

Her eyes fly to his, eyebrows raised.

"I mean…you guys just got here," he rationalizes. "You could put him down in Eli's room and we could order lunch."

"I don't know."

"This place may not be fully furnished but I do have Wi-Fi and a laptop," Elliot informs her. "I don't want this to feel like a wasted a trip."

Olivia looks down at her slumbering child, then at the building storm overhead. She also considers the conversation she had with Kathleen last night. Elliot's acknowledged that he screwed up, he's apologized. And because she's given him the month to try and make amends…

There's no time like the present.

"Fine," she agrees.

After rolling Noah into the spare room, she removes his coat, mittens and boots before laying him on the bed. He doesn't so much as hint as if he's going to wake up anytime soon. The boy sleeps like he's in a coma.

Olivia emerges to find Elliot in the kitchen perusing take-out menus. The laptop is already set up on the bar, ready to go. She removes her scarf, coat and gloves to lay over one of the bar stools.

"Anything in particular you feel like ordering?" He asks. "Or I could make something."

"I'm good," she tells him. "We had lunch before we came."

He looks almost disappointed.

"But don't that let that stop you from ordering," she urges. "If you're hungry –

"It's okay," Elliot says. "I'll just grab whatever's in the fridge."

She tries not to watch as he bends slightly to root around, but his backside is just as prominent a feature on him as she remembers. When he turns unexpectedly, she plays it cool as if she was simply looking over his shoulder.

"Could you grab one of those iced teas while you're in there?"

"Sure."

If he caught her, he's got the best poker face in the world. And after almost getting busted, Olivia opens a search engine and begins looking at websites with local furniture retailers. Elliot parks a bottle of Snapple in front of her, grabs a napkin and slides into the barstool next to hers.

"Anything jumping out at you?"

"Not really," she answers. "But I just started searching."

Elliot bites into a peach, watching as she flips through several sites until she finds one that peaks her interest.

"This looks like it has a nice selection of quality pieces," Olivia comments. "I think we should try one area at a time to make it less overwhelming."

"Great idea," he tells her. "Since I can't stretch out on these stools, I say we start with the living-room."

She glides her finger over the surface pad and double clicks until they're staring at ottomans, pull-outs and couches in numerous sizes, colors and textures.

"So, are you thinking a sofa and two chairs or a sectional and maybe one chair?" Olivia asks.

"Which do you think'll look better?"

She looks to her right, worries her bottom lip, then faces the screen again.

"Well, you definitely have the space for a sectional," she tells him. "But I think the combination of a sofa, some contrasting chairs and maybe a nice coffee table would work better."

"Sounds good," he comments. "An area rug and maybe a plant or two may make it more personal," he adds, surprising her.

Olivia slightly smirks but continues searching.

"And you said you weren't any good at this," she reminds him. "You like traditional or contemporary?"

He simply grins in response.

"Can you show me examples of both?" Elliot asks. "I didn't really get much of a say with the house."

"Sure," she responds, both growing quiet as she types. "Didn't you furnish wherever it was you landed after Kathy?"

"The girls helped the first time around," he answers. "And I was uh…seeing someone about two years after the divorce," he reveals. "We were living together for a while but she picked out everything too."

Olivia has had several serious relationships since he left. But hearing that Elliot cohabitated with a woman other than Kathy, is somehow upsetting to her. And the fact that she got close enough to share a life with him, however temporary, well…it shakes her world just a bit.

Unless you're facing homelessness or have a recent traumatic experience to blame it on, you don't generally move in with someone you don't see a future with. He had neither as an excuse.

"Oh," she simply says.

It's only one word, one syllable but Elliot can hear the change in her voice and he knows she's affected. They may have changed, but he still knows her better than anyone else.

"Liv, I…didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," she denies. "It's just weird to think of you living with anyone other than Kathy and the kids."

"I was legally separated for two years while we were partners," he reminds her. "You had to figure I hadn't been living like a monk."

"No," she admits. "Obviously not."

"Something on your mind?"

"Nothing," Olivia goes with. "Let's just focus on the reason I'm here," she suggests, continuing to click away. "Here's an example of traditional and this," she adds. "This is more contemporary so…which are you leaning towards?"

He's quiet for a few moments, seemingly trying to decide on whether to say aloud what he's thinking.

"Elliot?"

"I wasn't all that disappointed with Kathleen's ultimatum," he confesses, suddenly. "Seeing you again…is something I've wanted for a long time."

Her fingers hover over the keyboard, then she stops typing altogether.

"I haven't exactly been in hiding and it turns out you _do_ remember the address to the 1-6," Olivia points out. "So, there was nothing standing in your way."

"I didn't know how to approach you," Elliot defends. "Or what to say to explain myself—tell you how much everything had changed and how sorry I was for leaving without talking to you."

"We were partners Elliot but more importantly, we were friends," Olivia asserts. "However way you chose to do it I would've listened."

"And I miss that friendship," he begins. "I do, but…if I would've come to you and said I was ready for something more, that I wanted to get closer…"

She exhales, then meets his apprehensive stare.

"You expected a rejection," she concludes.

"Then and now," Elliot answers, surprising her.

Olivia's hands abandon the keyboard altogether.

"I thought the only reason you walked into my office after five and half years was because of Kathleen's ultimatum," she says.

"I told you it wasn't," he reminds her. "I needed an excuse because I realized too much has happened to both of us to just…pick up where we left off before the shooting."

"Both of us?" She asks, standing abruptly. "I was kidnapped a couple times, nearly raped, beaten, tortured, been in hostage situations and I lost another partner," she rattles off. "What the hell happened to _you_?"

He's up just as suddenly, getting in her face the way he used to. Both are breathing heavily, like two bulls about to charge.

"You aren't the only one whose been through the ringer Olivia," he contends. "I lost my shit over killing that girl then my marriage completely and finally imploded," he tells her. "Lizzie attempted suicide her sophomore year and Maureen moved out of state and barely talks to any of us!"

Olivia looks away, then to the floor before meeting his eyes again.

"You could've picked up the phone Elliot," she says, calmer. "Why didn't you just...pick up the damn phone and call me?"

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

"Everything that happened to you played out in the news," he explains. "You had enough going on in your own life," he continues. "There was no way in hell I was gonna add to it with the drama unfolding in mine," he tells her. "No matter how much I wanted to reach out."

Kathleen was right. They are incredibly stubborn people. Everything that happened to each of them may have still went down whether they were in touch or not. But the difference is, they would've had each other for support. And no matter the level or type of trauma, having the right person to prop you up afterwards, can make all the difference in the world.

They needed each other.

Olivia shakes her head as tears prick at her eyes. She fails to stop one lone drop from escaping and before she can wipe it away, his warm palm is against her cheek.

"I'm sorry that I'm so late," Elliot rasps, swiping at the moisture with his thumb.

"So am I."

This time it's Olivia who pulls his body against hers for an embrace. They stand there for long minutes and she doesn't try to deny the tears that fall while she's in his arms. And when he begins whispering apologies, they fall all the harder.

"I've missed you," she manages.

"I _miss_ you," Elliot affirms, making sure to use the present tense.

He rubs her back soothingly and a while later her soft crying subsides and they are slow to pull back. With the whites of his eyes tinged pink, she knows he's shed a few of his own tears. When he touches his warm palm to her cheek, it's a challenge not to lean into it, not to seek out just a bit more of the affection he's so freely showing her.

But she manages to step away.

"I'm gonna go wash my face and check on Noah," she announces, grabbing her purse from the counter. "Be back in a few minutes."

Elliot simply nods as she walks away.

When Olivia returns, her eyes are somewhat puffy but her make-up has been impeccably reapplied and as he watches her approach, he thinks, she's as beautiful as she ever was.

"Still knocked out," she reports.

"He slept through all that yelling?"

"Yeah," she answers, grinning. "Another hurricane could come through this city and he'd still be sleeping."

"Good to know," Elliot says, waggling his eyebrows to make her laugh. "Kidding."

"Sure you are," she chides. "You find anything?"

"Yeah, I like the contemporary stuff," he tells her, showing Olivia what he's found. "This sofa would work."

"I think you're right," she agrees. "I like these chairs too."

Two hours later, they've got a dining set and his living room furniture picked out. She also helped choose an area rug, some tables, lamps and a paint color that will make the perfect accent wall for the space. Everything is coming together nicely for him and Elliot's more than grateful that it was done with her by his side.

"I can get the painting done in a day and the furniture will be delivered a few days after," he says excitedly. "Thanks Liv, I really appreciate you doing this."

"You're welcome," she says, standing and stretching. "But you should probably thank your middle daughter for guilting me and threatening you into seeing each other again."

"You talked to Katie?" Elliot asks, shutting down his laptop.

"Last night," she answers. "Apparently, this all came about because she wants us both at the wedding minus the tension and drama," she informs him, leaving out the part about them needing each other.

"If that's the logic behind the ultimatum, can't say I blame her."

"I'm assuming Kathy's coming and bringing her new husband," Olivia points out. "But that's not friction she's worried about?"

"We're all getting along better these days," he informs her. "So, if there's gonna be any issues –

"They'll likely be about us," she concludes. "I get it."

"Liv," he begins. "About earlier –

"Elliot," she interrupts, making the decision to be open about their past. "I can admit that…the so-called 'complications' of our partnership existed because we were too close and we gravitated towards each other," she says, confirming a shared truth. "That _connection_ and your marriage, didn't give us any option other than to pretend we didn't have deeper feelings."

"But?"

"That was a long time ago," she continues. "So, I think it would be better to leave the baggage of the past…in the past."

Olivia steps across the room to look out of a window, relieved to find the storm has moved out of the area and the sky is clear. She hears him walk up behind her and wonders what his response will be.

"I don't miss my marriage Liv," he begins and she turns to face him. "But I do miss the bond we shared," he adds. "And I'm sorry to say that I didn't realize just how unique it was until I didn't have it to rely on anymore."

"Seriously?" Olivia asks. "You're tellin' me you didn't feel the _'uniqueness'_ when I requested another partner and ended up leaving the unit?"

He exhales, eyes the floor then shakes his head before meeting her eyes again.

"You know what I realized that day?" Elliot questions. "How fucked our partnership was for not being able to choose victims over each other," he confesses. "How—how what I was feeling for you was anything but platonic and how terrified I was that everybody else could see it too."

The Case. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back shit of a case happened over a decade ago. Yet, the memories and all the feelings attached to them may as well have happened yesterday with the way his confession affects her.

He sees it.

"It's not my plan to drudge up the past Liv," Elliot tells her.

"I hope not," she tells him. "Because it's something we got through a very long time ago," she reminds him. "So, what is your plan?"

"Other than getting help decorating this place, I can't say that I actually have one," he answers. "I just…"

He hesitates with her.

"What is it Elliot?"

"It feels like I've been doing two things since my all but forced retirement," he continues. "Trying to find out who the hell I am without my shield and—

"Mama?"

Both adults turn to find a two-foot-tall, brown eyed interruption.

 **E/N: Don't you just hate when some heavy talk is about to happen and it gets interrupted? Lol, me too. But then again, Elliot has never been one to spill his guts. Perhaps he's changed? Any hoo, please review!**


	4. Grown-Up Talk

**A/N: I still don't know where it's going, but thanks for coming with me.**

December 31st, 2017 - Continued

" _Mama?"_

 _Both adults turn to find a two-foot-tall, brown eyed interruption._

"Look who's up from their nap," Olivia says, stepping around Elliot to pick up her son. "You ready to go chipmunk?"

Noah laughs as she tickles him and he giggles immediately. Elliot smiles watching their interaction.

"I'll get your coat," he says.

"I'll get it," she tells him. "Why don't you take Noah to get his things on."

"You sure?"

"I think you can handle it," Olivia says, grinning.

"How 'bout it buddy?" Elliot asks, turning to Noah. "Can I help?"

"Okay," Noah agrees.

She puts him down and he reaches for Elliot's hand and Olivia watches as the two walk towards one of the spare bedrooms. He's an amicable little guy but he doesn't usually take to people so easily. Olivia has noticed how intuitive he is where her feelings and moods are concerned.

Perhaps he senses the same things in her former partner.

When the two of them return, she's ready with her wool trench on, purse over her shoulder and a second coat over her arm. Elliot is entertaining whatever unintelligible story Noah is telling as he pushes him in his stroller towards her.

"That mine?" He asks.

"Yeah," Olivia answers. "Unless you have terribly important plans for the remainder of the day," she continues. "I'd like to finish our conversation and maybe Noah can show you his dinosaurs."

"Roarrrr," her son says.

"Yes baby, that's the sound the dinosaurs make," Olivia tells him.

"I can't say no to an offer like that," Elliot says, grinning.

He reaches for his coat as she holds it out.

"I'll follow you guys over," he adds and she agrees with a nod.

Twenty minutes later she's rolling Noah across her threshold with Elliot in tow. He sheds his coat and hangs it on the rack while Olivia removes her son from his stroller and gets them out of their winter gear.

"You think you can get that thing folded up while I change his clothes?" She asks. "There's some special button or lever to make it collapse but I can never find it."

"I'll try," he answers, giving the it the once-over. "No promises."

Olivia can't help but grin at the look of sheer concentration on his face as he attempts to become victorious at the time-honored battle of man against stroller.

She changes Noah into cartoon T-rex pajamas and puts him down to play with his favorite carnivores while she readies his snack. When Olivia enters the kitchen, she looks across the room and finds the stroller folded and leaning against the wall, Elliot sitting quietly on the sofa.

"He wants to show you his triceratops," she informs him. "And please don't keep him waiting," she urges. "Or else he'll cart all of them out here."

"Not very patient huh?" He chides with a grin. "Wonder where he gets that?"

"Please," Olivia counters with. "Like you're the prince of self-restraint."

After feeding him his snack of sliced apples and peanut butter, the three of them spend the rest of the day in Noah's world. Olivia tells a story that Elliot does the voices with, to the three-year-old's delight. The little boy shows him every dinosaur he has, releasing a good chuckle from the former detective when he growls.

They lose track of the day and before they realize, it's dinnertime. Elliot treats them to pizza and they get comfortable on the sofa watching _How to Train Your Dragon_. It's Noah's favorite movie and while he begins excitedly telling his new buddy about it, Olivia notices how his eyes are beginning to droop.

A half hour into the film, he's peacefully asleep.

"I'm gonna lay him down," she tells Elliot.

"You mind if I do it?"

"Um, no," she says, surprised. "No, go ahead."

A few minutes later he returns and finds her on the couch with two beers, television off. Olivia hands him a chilled bottle as he sits beside her.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I had a fun time today Liv," he begins. "I appreciate you introducing me to Noah and letting me hang out with you guys," he adds. "I hope I didn't intrude."

"It's fine. We didn't have any huge New Year's Eve plans," Olivia says. "And Noah had just as much fun as you did," she points out. "He's gonna wake me up bright and early tomorrow to tell me _all_ about it."

Elliot laughs knowingly, remembering his children doing the same after meeting new people or going to a new place.

She takes a sip, rests her bottle on the table, brings a foot beneath her and edges into a corner before facing him.

"Time for grown-up talk?" He asks.

"Yeah," she answers with a small grin. "Hoping I forgot?"

"Nah," he answers. "I knew you wouldn't."

"I can't make you open up to me Elliot," she points out. "I never could."

"But you were always able to get more out of me than most," he admits.

"Not always," Olivia says. "So…you wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

He leans his back against the sofa cushions, legs wide, dangling his beer between two fingers before taking a long pull.

"There are times when I feel like something's…I don't know…missing, I guess is the right word," he offers.

"What do you mean?"

"My life used to be more defined," he tries. "I knew my roles, what I was supposed to do or who I was supposed to be," he continues. "Husband, father, cop."

"You'll always be a father Elliot," Olivia says. "And you could probably get back into law enforcement in some capacity if you wanted to," she adds. "As for being someone's husband…you tried for what? Thirty years?"

"And I'm okay with that," he tells her. "But, Eli spends most of his time at Kathy's—

"With her new husband," she concludes.

"Yeah," he admits. "And the rest of my kids are adults," he adds. "I guess…every day I'm realizing what I had and how much I took for granted that it would always be there."

With those last words, he turns his focus to Olivia and holds her eyes.

"What uh, what happened with everyone?"

"Liz is doin' okay, seeing a counselor regularly now," Elliot says. "She was used to getting better grades and just put too much pressure on herself with school," he explains. "Also, I don't think anyone took the divorce as hard."

"What about Richard and Maureen?"

"Rick pulled the typical male bullshit, pretending like he didn't care about what anyone did until he heard about Liz," he says with a sad smile. "He came home from trying to _'find himself'_ and was really there for her," he continues. "Now they're damn near inseparable."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah…as for Maureen," he begins. "She got into corporate law with a successful firm in Greenwich," he informs her. "She calls, but all she seems to do is work."

"I know it sucks Elliot," she starts. "But that's what kids do when they grow up," she adds. "The older they get, the less time they have for their parents," she surmises. "You did it to yours, I did it to my mom and thankfully not anytime soon, Noah's gonna do it to me."

"Guess that's why I appreciated today so much," he admits. "He's a great kid Liv."

"I know," she agrees. "I enjoy every moment with him."

"Goes by fast."

"So, besides yoga," she begins, changing the subject and getting him to smile. "What do you do with all your free time now that you have such deep pockets?"

"Try to get Eli as often as his busy social calendar will allow," he answers. "Aside from that, just try to keep busy with different projects and I've taken some classes."

"Good for you," she commends. "What subjects?"

"Pole dancing mostly."

Olivia laughs fully and punches him in the shoulder.

"Ow," he says. "You're a lot more violent than I remember," he jokes. "But seriously, I've been taking some courses in architectural design."

"I would never have pictured you getting into something like that," she admits. "You any good?"

"You like the loft?"

"Love it," Olivia responds, grinning. "That was you?"

"Yep," he responds, with an air of pride. "It was a bare bones factory when I found it," he reveals. "Another investment after the app with Jacob," he goes on. "I saw the skylight and just sort of planned around it," he explains. "And that stained-glass window was a last-minute flash of inspiration."

"And Catholic upbringing."

"Probably," Elliot says. "I put a lot of time into designing and overseeing the construction," he tells her. "Too much time honestly."

She reaches for her beer and takes a sip, ruminating on whether to breech another likely uncomfortable topic. But he's the one that wants to reconcile, so she has nothing to lose by talking about what matters.

Something they didn't do enough as partners.

"Is that what happened with…"

"Linda," he finishes. "I don't know…probably," he admits. "She urged me to talk about what was goin' on with me, the kids," he continues. "But I just couldn't so…the more she pushed, the more time I put into doing the loft renovations."

"You're an idiot."

He grins slightly at her quick assessment of the situation.

"I know," Elliot acknowledges. "It didn't take her nearly as long as Kathy, to get tired of my shit," he says. "More than likely because we didn't have kids to raise."

"Maybe she just loved you enough to try and be patient," she suggests. "But when two people stop talking…the relationship doesn't stand much of a chance."

It happened with Brian, then again with Tucker. More so on her end than theirs but she's speaking from experience.

"Or in this case, one person," he clarifies. "I had a tendency not to talk about things that made me uncomfortable, those I couldn't fix," he explains. "Or control."

"What do you mean _had_ a tendency?" Olivia asks. "When did that change?"

"I came to the realization that if I didn't wanna keep losing people that mattered, I needed to become a hell of a lot better at communicating," he admits. "So, I started seeing a psychiatrist twice a week," he reveals. "At first it was like pulling teeth."

"And then?"

"I thought of Liz and didn't wanna be a hypocrite so I started spilling my guts," he confesses. "I discussed my kids, how I felt about my mom's illness, my dad's abuse," he lists. "Knowing my marriage was over the first time around, my partnership with you," he adds. "It all came out with a shit ton of frustration, anger and a few tears."

"I'm guessing the frustration and anger surfaced when you were discussing our partnership," she says, leaning to rest her beer on the table again. "I know it did for me with my shrink."

"You'd be surprised," Elliot tells her.

"Tears?" She asks, eyebrows raised.

"Walking away from you…the way I left," he continues. "Knowing how that looked and how it must've felt," he goes on. "It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made."

"But you made it," Olivia points out. "Without so much as a heads-up to me that you were thinking about it."

"I'm sorry Liv," he says. "I don't need a shrink to tell me what a dick move that was," he admits. "But I did need one to help mend all the other relationships in my life," he goes on. "There's only one left to work on."

She reaches for and finishes the last of her beer, grabs his empty bottle from the coffee table and walks into the kitchen with him in tow.

Elliot sits on a barstool, watching as she grabs two more.

"I take it you mean us," Olivia says, sliding a beer to him.

"Yeah."

"Look, I agreed to start over," she reminds him, resting her palms against the opposite side of the counter. "What more do you want from me Elliot?" She asks. "We don't have a time machine to take us back to where we were before you decided to pull a disappearing act."

"If I could buy one, I would," he tells her. "After we were done booking those assholes and filing the paperwork, I was gonna talk to you that night."

The poker face award, if there were such a thing, would go to her for remaining completely stoic about his revelation.

"Doesn't matter now," Olivia contends. "I said we'd reconcile…for _Kathleen_ , and that's what I plan on doing," she says. "No need to keep dredging up the past."

"But you also said you miss me," he points out, standing to enter the kitchen.

" _Missed_ ," she corrects. "Past tense," she adds, but he ignores it.

Elliot places both forearms on the counter, standing side by side with his former partner as they look out over her living room.

"I told you I'd been doing two things since leaving," he reminds her. "The first was figuring out who I was without my shield…and the other was trying to connect with someone else the way I did with you," he confesses. "I've only succeeded at one of those Liv."

Olivia chances a sideways look after his revelation and can't be stoic with the sincerity she finds in his eyes. It's much easier to focus on her small living room, so that's what she does.

" _I_ miss…getting into trouble with you," he begins, making her scoff. "I miss pushing each other to take breaks when we were both too damn stubborn to sleep on long cases," he continues. "I miss…watching you give a perp false hope in interrogation before snatching it away."

That one, she can't help but smile at.

"Those are aspects of every partnership," she says, growing serious again. "I'd expect you to miss the same things from anyone you were assigned to as long as we were."

"There's more Liv," he rasps, sweeping her hair behind her ear.

"What are you doing?" She whispers, trying to ignore his proximity now that he's facing her.

"I've always wanted to do that," Elliot confesses. "I miss…watching that confident walk of yours, the smell of your hair," he adds, bending to get a whiff and ends up nuzzling her neck.

Olivia closes her eyes at the slight contact.

"I miss the sound of your voice," he continues, after pulling back. "I miss walking into a room knowing you're gonna be there," he adds, laying his warm palm against her cheek. "God, I miss this face."

She finally turns to meet him fully, resting her hand on his forearm as he leans closer, affected by his words, his proximity.

"I miss _you_ Liv," he whispers against her lips. "So damn much."

Elliot closes the distance between them, covering her mouth with his. The kiss isn't the least bit hesitant or cautious. It's hungry, passionate and he wastes no time urging her lips apart to slide his tongue along hers. He tickles the roof of her mouth, nibbles on her soft lips then suckles at the lower one causing a quiet moan to erupt from her throat before he dives in after it.

The strength she had to try and suppress their innate attraction is completely diminished once he touches her. Olivia bumps into his shoes trying to get closer. As he threads his fingers through her hair, she wraps hers around his back, pulling him against her. There is no light between the two. For the first time in nearly six years, nothing separates them save for a few layers of clothing.

They nip, suckle and tease one another's lips like two teenagers, fiercely desiring yet not ready for anything more. She feels her heart racing, a warmth in the pit of her stomach and a humming throughout her body. Still, the two manage not to strip each other naked. And, after endless moments of continuing between breaths, it is the need for oxygen that finally separates them.

"We shouldn't have done that," Olivia confesses, fingers resting against her kiss swollen lips as she leans back against the counter.

He places both hands against hers, caging her inside his arms.

"It definitely _felt_ like we should have," Elliot whispers, after leaning towards her right ear. "Do you regret it?" He asks, kissing her neck before pulling back.

If he continues, she'll lose all objectivity.

"No," she says, turning to pick up her forgotten beer and effectively creating distance between them. "But I don't think you and I together is a particularly great idea."

Her body's reaction to him fully disagrees.

"Is it because I hurt you?" He asks, lifting his own bottle and giving Olivia the space she so obviously desires. "Or maybe you're still pissed at me."

"Maybe both," Olivia answers. "But mostly it's because you seem to be searching for something and I don't know that it's me," she explains. "Plus, I have Noah to think of now."

Hence the reason she's ignoring her body's reaction.

"You think I've come back after all this time to hurt you again?" He asks, incredulously. "Or to use you and your son to fill some void?" He continues, voice raised.

And just like that, the old Elliot that she knew and…well, the man she knew seems to be peeking out from under this new open, more patient model of her former partner.

She quickly moves past him to check on Noah, even though he sleeps like the dead. Elliot is calmer when she returns, mimicking her previous position against the counter.

"I'm sorry Liv," he says immediately. "You didn't deserve that. I hope I didn't wake him."

"You didn't."

To Olivia's surprise, he takes her hand, tugs her towards the sofa, prompting her to sit beside him to resume their conversation.

"Did you hear anything I said?" Elliot asks.

"Every syllable," she answers. "And no…I don't think you would try to use us that way," she assures him. "But in your own words, you feel like something is missing."

"There is," he admits, caressing her fingers with his thumb.

"I just," Olivia tries, then takes a breath. "I don't wanna get involved with you for the sake of nostalgia, then have it go to shit because, maybe you have a selective memory," she continues. "But we've had some pretty awful fights."

Elliot tries and fails to hide a grin.

"What's so damn amusing?"

"I miss the arguments too," he affirms. "Can I make another confession?"

"Why stop now?"

"I had some of the most vivid sexual fantasies I've ever had after having those blow-ups," he tells her.

Olivia immediately withdraws her hand from his, having gotten the wrong idea.

"And I'm sure Kathy appreciated hearing _all_ about 'em."

He leans towards her again, avoiding her lips, instead whispering softly into her ear.

"They weren't about her," he rasps.

When he pulls back, Olivia's mouth hangs slightly open in surprise and he takes advantage, giving her another lingering kiss. She feels the same sparks they've always had between them increase ten-fold now that she's learned what he tastes like.

And if she's honest with herself, she'll realize the intensity of their bond, the push and pull of their dynamic and the chemistry they've always shared is what was missing from her previous relationships.

Apparently, it's been the same for him.

"I'm not here with you right now for the sake of nostalgia or even because of Kathleen's ultimatum," Elliot begins, when they come up for air. "I need you Liv."

Apparently, Kathleen was right. But she never thought she'd hear those words fall so honestly from Elliot's lips.

"Why?" She asks, resting a hand against his chest.

"Because I wanna remind both of us I wasn't always the kind of man that would've abandoned one of the most important people in his life," he answers, putting a hand over hers. "I wanna know what it's like to gravitate towards each other because it just…feels right, not because we're both going through shit."

Olivia pulls away abruptly and stands, moving to the window to sit on the ledge.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"You come back here, wanting to redeem yourself for how you left," she begins. "Saying things I've wanted to hear for years, kissing me..."

"What about it?"

"I guess I'm just wondering, why now?" She asks. "And how long did it take you to realize that _I'm_ so damn important?"

"Liv –

"No Elliot," she interrupts. "Was this revelation before or after the divorce? Before or after Linda? Before or after Kathleen essentially _threatened_ you into showing your face?"

"I don't think you really wanna know," he warns.

"Why not?" She asks smugly, crossing her arms against her chest and standing. "Too recent a development?"

"No," he answers. "It's because I've known for years and I was too chicken shit to do anything about it," he confesses. "I have a lot of regrets in my life Liv, and that one's right at the top."

It's silent between them for a few moments, each having rendered the other speechless.

"Look…I'll help you finish the loft and be your plus one," she begins. "But we won't be BFFs again, and we shouldn't try for anything else."

He sighs disappointedly, shakes his head and worries his bottom lip.

"You don't trust me anymore, do you?"

"I don't _know_ you anymore Elliot," she corrects. "You don't know me either and more importantly, I'm not sure you know what the hell you want."

"I told you exactly what I want, what I need," he asserts. "You just don't believe that you're it," he says. "But I got a month to prove it to you," he reminds her. "And I plan on making the most of that time, every way I can think of."

He beelines for her, palms her face and kisses her again before she can object. This time it's not as hungry, but sweeter, more tender and just as passionate. Olivia is naturally drawn to him like bees to nectar. She can't not rest her hands at his lower back, she can't not pull him tighter against her, she can't not…return his kiss.

"You should stop doing that too," she throws out as he walks away to retrieve his coat.

"Then you should stop letting me," he counters with a knowing smirk as he opens the door. "I'll call you so we can decide which room to do next," he adds. "Happy New Year, Liv."

If she didn't know better, Olivia could swear he was beaming when he left. Funny, seeing as though she just told Elliot she wasn't interested in pursuing an intimate relationship. Though having confirmed that a large part of the old him is still alive and well, she knows he probably considers it a personal challenge.

A few minutes later she receives a text.

 _U certainly don't kiss like missing me is in the past tense._

And just like that, she remembers why nothing with Elliot was ever easy. Despite time, circumstance and the things they've both endured in one another's absence, they still know each other better than anyone else.

 **E/N: For someone who claims to be good at communication, his listening skills suck. The woman clearly said she didn't want to start anything with him. But does he listen? Nope. Then again, why would he? Olivia's not exactly pushing his lips away...lol. Pretty please review?!**


	5. Extended Visit

**A/N: Welcome back folks.**

January 2nd, 2017

On Monday morning Olivia walks into a scene like last week's. It's just as quiet, but instead of pretending to work, Carisi is sitting on the edge of Rollins' desk chatting away like a giddy school girl.

Fin is doing what Fin does, keeping his head down and minding his own business.

"Mornin' Lou," Carisi says.

"Morning," she responds. "What have I missed?"

"You got a delivery about ten minutes ago," Rollins answers. "We were just wonderin' who it's from."

"What kind of delivery?"

"A very pricey lookin' bouquet," the blond tells her. "Gardenias I think."

Olivia looks between the two of them, shaking her head.

"Do me a favor," she begins. "Be like Fin for the rest of the day, better still…for the rest of the year."

Carisi and Rollins eye the elder man with his head down, making notes on a case file as he talks on the phone.

"See that," the lieutenant gestures. "That's called working."

Without another word, she continues to her office.

Inside, she goes about her routine, depositing her coat and scarf on the rack, her work satchel on the floor against her desk and her purse in the bottom drawer. Then she boots up her laptop, preparing to fill out endless forms regarding overtime, requisitions for office equipment, employee evaluations and statistics on closure rates.

But the sight of a crystal vase filled with stunningly white gardenias sitting on the corner of her desk, is kind of hard to ignore.

The aroma is light but wafts over the room so completely, she doesn't have to bend to smell them. As her hand lifts reflexively to touch the soft velvety petals, her thoughts turn to the only person who would've sent them. Yet, to her knowledge, he's never been one for amorous grand gestures.

Then again, Olivia's never knowingly been the object of his romantic desires, resistant to the idea though she may be.

The card reads, _'Just celebrating a fresh start. El.'_ Despite her best attempts, and the fact that he didn't push with calls or texts, she found herself thinking of him.

When they were first assigned to one another, Elliot invaded her personal space about a week after they met. And, he successfully and consistently violated it so often that she simply accepted it as their normal.

But having his warm breath on her neck as he nuzzled her skin, his hands on her face caressing her cheeks and his lips against hers, was a stark contrast to their heretofore _platonic_ definition of closeness. Elliot confessed to wanting more from her, an intimate relationship he claims he didn't have the words to initiate before now.

And, although rejected, here sits unfamiliar but not surprising evidence of just how stubborn the man can be. Feigning civility long enough to get through a ceremony and a couple hours at a reception would be so much simpler.

Just as she's about to attempt some modicum of productivity, her cell begins ringing. She can't help but smirk after seeing the caller.

"What do you want Elliot?"

"Good morning to you too sunshine."

"Answer the question."

"I've done that already," he tells her. "But you don't seem to believe me."

Olivia sighs and rubs her forehead.

"You like the flowers?" Elliot asks.

"That was such a long time ago," she says. "I didn't think you were even paying attention."

A week before he'd left for Quantico, they were on a stakeout. He seemed preoccupied and unusually focused on the door to the apartment building they were watching. So, she decided to talk about anything that popped into her head just to make the time go by, assuming he wasn't listening. With a series of _'uh-huhs and okays'_ from him, Olivia had confirmed that it was indeed the case.

Now she knows she was only half right.

Elliot _was_ inattentive and it was because of his troubles at home. Unknowingly, she rambled on about men always predictably giving her roses, and how she'd appreciate some originality from time to time. She told him peonies or gladiolas would be nice. But, the one time she was given the gardenias after her college graduation, it made her fall in love with them.

The man was listening.

"I've always paid attention Liv," he asserts. "Even when you were barely speaking to me."

"Oh yeah, it was talking you sucked at."

"True," he admits. "But like you said, you don't know me anymore," he tells her. "I've made some changes and you'd be hard pressed to get me to shut up at this point."

Olivia hears the smile in his voice and can't help but grin herself.

"Right, well…thank you for the flowers," she finally says. "But I have work to do Elliot."

"Can you do me two favors before you hang up on me?"

She immediately scoffs.

"If you have the balls to ask for another favor, let alone two," she begins, resulting in a hearty laugh on the other end. "Then by all means, go ahead."

"First," Elliot manages. "Can you promise to call after you're done there to set up the next time you can come over?"

"Fine," Olivia agrees. "And the second thing?"

"I'd like you to throw in an 'El' out every now and then," he requests. "Using my full name is stopping just short of calling me Mr. Stabler like you're my tax accountant."

"There _are_ other names I could call you," she suggests, resulting in another chuckle or two. "But I'm trying to be civil."

"You hit me with a cue ball Liv," he reminds her. "I still have proof of your _civility_ on the left side of my head."

"My first instinct was to shoot you," Olivia counters. "I did us both a favor."

"Gee thanks."

"You're welcome," she offers, full of sarcasm.

"So," Elliot starts. "Can I get a 'Talk to you later El', or do I need to repeat the list of what I've missed about you," he threatens. "It's grown a little bit, just so you know."

She sighs in exasperation.

"I miss the scent of your skin," he rasps, after her silence. "I miss the feel of your hair between my fingers, the softness of your lips and –

"Okay," she interrupts. "I'll talk to you later… _El_."

"Bye Liv."

She tries to put the mental pictures he conjured with his last words, out of her head. Tried to be colder to him so thoughts like that wouldn't materialize in the first place. At least they didn't get into a heated argument. Elliot wasn't the only one to get aroused after a fight.

Luckily for her, someone raps on the door, offering a much-needed distraction.

"Come in."

"Hey Liv."

"Fin," she says. "What's up?"

"I'm gonna head out to interview the mother on the Valdez case," he answers. "Wanted to know if you wanna come or have me take one of the wonder twins?"

"Are they getting that bad?"

He shakes his head in the negative then crosses his arms over his chest.

"They're tolerable," he tells her. "But sometimes they ask more questions than a three-year-old and not always about a case."

"Me?" Olivia asks, eyebrows raised.

"Yep," he responds. "Elliot's visit last week only made 'em worse."

"And you said?"

"You know me Liv," he says. "I told 'em to mind their own business and stick to the job."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Fin tells her. "What did he want anyway?"

"What makes you think he wanted anything?"

"If it was just about catchin' up, it wouldn't have taken his ass almost six years to do it," he points out.

"True."

"So?"

"Kathleen's getting married," Olivia responds. "She invited me to the wedding."

"And he had to deliver that RSVP himself?"

She takes a deep breath, looking down before meeting his eyes again.

"Yeah," she says. "Apparently, she refuses to let him walk her down the aisle unless he can earn his way back into my good graces."

"Damn," Fin comments. "Blackmailing her own father is pretty cold," he adds. "But I can't say he don't deserve it."

"It was a long time ago."

"I heard you leavin' those messages Liv," he reminds her. "He didn't even have the balls to tell you about retiring to your face," he adds, angrily. "You sayin' you're not hurt or still just a little pissed?"

They share a look and she knows he's seen too much and knows her too well to try and lie.

"I'm working on it," Olivia goes with. "The ceremony's a month away," she explains. "He's using the time to try and redeem himself."

"So, you're givin' him a shot, huh?"

"Kathleen and I developed a relationship in the absence of Elliot," Olivia informs him. "I agreed to attempt a reconciliation for her sake," she reasons. "A friction-free wedding is the best gift I can offer."

"Just…be careful," Fin tells her. "I don't wanna see you get hurt again."

"I will. Thanks," she tells him. "Why don't you take Rollins with you," she suggests. "The two of them are only worse when they're together."

"Good point."

By the end of the work day they collar Serita Valdez's boss for the sexual assault of her sixteen-year-old son. The culmination of a Christmas party with too many drinks, a suspiciously broken surveillance system and trying to point the finger at a household staff of terrified illegals, didn't deter the squad from gathering enough evidence to make an arrest of the forty-year-old trust fund baby.

Olivia climbs into her SUV, starts it up and points it home. On the way, she activates her blue-tooth and calls Elliot.

"How was work?" He asks.

"Just as you remember, I'm sure."

"I forgot to tell you," he begins. "Cragen's office really suits you," he tells her. "You look great behind that desk Liv."

"Thank you," she says. "Good to know I have your approval."

"You gonna make it this hard for me all the way up until the wedding?"

He hears her take a deep breath before answering.

"I'll try to focus on doing better," Olivia offers. "But I gotta admit…it's not easy, El."

"You called me El," he points out . "That's a start. So besides apologizing until I'm blue in the face, which I'll be happy to continue doing if you tell me it's making a difference, what'll make things better for us?"

"I honestly don't know," she answers. "I'd say time but it's been years and it still…it hurts Elliot. It pisses me off and yeah, it still hurts that you could just walk away without giving me the respect of a goodbye."

"I get it," he tells her. "I shouldn't just expect you to put it behind you after I show up out of the blue and rip the scab off an old wound," he adds. "And I appreciate you making the effort and letting me back into your life…even if it is just for Katie."

"But?"

"But I'm gonna take every opportunity to let you know just how much I've missed you," he answers. "How much I regret the way I treated you," he asserts. "And…show you that you can trust me again Liv."

"I don't know what you expect me to say to that," she says. "I've already told you –

"I remember," Elliot interrupts, frustrated that his sincerity didn't help. "Just…when can you come by again?" He asks, changing the subject to her relief.

"We can make it Saturday afternoon," she answers.

"I uh, think the shopping online worked pretty well last time," he suggests. "I'd rather continue with that instead of having Noah out in the cold."

"Sounds good," Olivia tells him.

"If it's okay, I'd like to make you guys lunch," Elliot offers.

When she doesn't respond right away he gets worried.

"Or—if there's some routine I'd be interrupting—I don't have to," he continues, unsure. "I can just –

"No, it's fine," Olivia tells him. "Lunch sounds great," she answers. "But be forewarned, Noah is _not_ a fan of nuggets."

He chuckles on the other end and she smiles in spite of herself.

"I think I can put something together to make him happy," Elliot says. "Does he have any allergies to peanuts, strawberries, gluten or anything?"

"Nothing that I've found so far," Olivia responds. "But don't go to too much trouble," she adds. "He can be very picky."

"We'll see," he says. "See you Saturday—bye Liv."

"Bye El."

January 7th, 2017

When Saturday finally rolls around, she awakens with a smile on her face, happy to have the stress of the week over as she rousts Noah for breakfast and cartoons.

"Good morning my sweet boy," she whispers as his sleepy eyes begin to focus.

"Morning mama," he responds. "We go to the park today?"

"Sure baby, but just for a little while," she tells him as he kicks the covers off. "It's cold out," she adds, playing with his toes as he giggles.

Olivia gives him a piggy back ride to the kitchen, planting him in his booster seat at the table before sitting his favorite cinnamon raisin toast in front of him along with a cup of fruit. She grabs her coffee mug and a plate filled with an egg white, veggie and cheese omelet before joining him.

Two hours later she's pushing him on the swings and watching him play on the slide and jungle gym. There aren't that many parents, nannies and kids out this Saturday morning and as she shivers, she understands why. The coffee in her hands is doing little to warm her.

"Come on Noah," she yells, getting his attention. "Time to go!"

Reluctantly he climbs down off a metal spring riding horse and runs over to her to grasp her outstretched hand.

"We stay mama?"

"We're going to see Elliot," Olivia explains as they walk hurriedly to her SUV. "You remember him, right?"

"Yeah," he answers. "I like Ewweot, he growl like the dimosaurs."

"It's di _no_ saur, sweetie," she corrects as she buckles him into his car seat. "And I'm glad you guys had fun together."

Twenty minutes later, after Noah charms the front desk manager out of a dinosaur sticker he just so happen to have a roll of, they board the elevator to Elliot's loft.

When they step out into his place, they are greeted by the unmistakable aroma of homemade sauce cooking.

"Hey Liv," he says, stepping forward to kiss her on the cheek.

It happens so fast she doesn't have time to rebuke him or come up with a snarky remark.

"Hi Noah."

"Hi Eweeot."

"Close enough," Elliot tells him as he squats to get eye level with the little boy. "Do you like pizza?"

"Yes!"

Olivia raises her eyebrows at his enthusiasm while Elliot just smugly grins as he looks up to meet her eyes.

"How would you like to help me make one?"

"Can I mama?"

"Yeah, can he mama?"

Between Noah's puppy dog eyes and Elliot's dimpled smile, how can she refuse?

"Sure baby," she tells him. "But let's get your coat and mittens off first, then wash your hands, okay?"

"Okay."

A few minutes later the excited little boy comes running back towards the kitchen, ready to help his new buddy. Upon approaching, Olivia sees two pizza doughs resting on the counter. The man continues to surprise her with how much he's changed.

The Elliot she knew wasn't prone to cooking at all, let alone creating anything from scratch. He kneels to her son's level before allowing him entrance into the cooking area.

"Let me see those hands chief."

Noah holds them palms up and her former partner pretends to inspect them closely, squinting and raising an eyebrow.

"Good job," he says. "Now let's make some pizza."

Olivia watches as Elliot scoops him up to sit him on the counter. After he spoons on some sauce, he lets Noah choose from a variety of ingredients as they messily decorate the first pizza, then tops it off with mozzarella and provolone.

"All done," announces Noah.

"You're right," Elliot agrees. "And that is one good looking pie," he adds. "You're a great pizza chef kid."

"I'm pizza chef, mama," he says, clapping his hands.

"That's great baby," Olivia tells him. "How about we go clean those hands while the pizza's baking?"

"Okay."

Elliot helps him off the counter then the two of them head to get Noah washed up again. When they return, both pizzas are in the oven and _"How to Train Your Dragon"_ is paused on the mounted flat screen in the recently furnished living room.

Noah instantly stops and Olivia gets him comfortable on the new sofa before joining Elliot in the kitchen.

"Thanks for that," she tells him, sliding onto a bar stool. "The pizza and –

"I know," he interrupts. "I remembered how much he loves the movie and he's gotta have something to do while we're online."

"True," she acknowledges. "You have anything to do with Charlie at the front desk having that roll of dinosaur stickers?"

Elliot smirks and shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe," he responds. "So, you still like green peppers, onions, Italian sausage and –

"Mushrooms," she concludes. "Yeah I do."

"Good 'cause that's what I put on the other pizza."

"They smell wonderful," she comments. "Since when do you make anything from scratch?" She questions. "Hell, since when do you cook?"

He gives her a cheeky grin before responding.

"Just one of the many classes I've taken since retiring," he answers. "I've added more to my list of life skills than interview techniques, hostage negotiations and firearms accuracy."

"Really?"

"Yes really," Elliot asserts. "Like I said, I've made some changes."

He moves to join her on an adjacent stool as he powers up his laptop. In spite of herself, it's the familiar scent of his cologne that has her leaning minimally closer as he brings up the last website they visited.

"So, what room would you like to work on next?"

"My bedroom."

He pauses typing to meet her widened eyes, smirking at her shocked expression. Elliot was never so bold, especially not with her.

"I uh…think you can handle that on your own," Olivia reasons. "You have a bed, some place to sit and watch TV," she adds, gesturing to Noah on the sofa. "But the den and guest bedroom is still empty and Eli's room could use a few things."

He shakes his head as he turns back to the screen of the laptop.

"Chicken."

"I like this mirror and oh, that storage ottoman would go great with this quilted headboard," she says, ignoring his dig. "These lamps and –

Olivia pauses after realizing she's leaned into his space, taken over the keyboard and has her arm resting against the warmth of his. Elliot eyes her lips as he moves closer and just as he's about to press his mouth against hers, she pulls away.

"I think the pizza's ready."

"Right," he says, moving reluctantly to check. "The pizza."

She gets up to get Noah, pausing the movie against his objections as they walk back into the kitchen. Olivia cuts his slice up into bite sized pieces before sitting him in her lap and grabbing at least two for herself.

"This isn't bad."

"Wow, try not to overwhelm me with the compliments."

"You know what I mean Elliot."

"Uh oh, back to the full name."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"It's good pizza," Olivia tells him. "That better?"

He simply winks and they all go back to enjoying their food. When everyone's had their fill, they join Noah on the big, comfortable sofa and finish out the movie. The little boy's eyes are heavy by the time the credits roll and Olivia excuses herself to lay him down for a nap.

When she comes back, Elliot is standing at the row of windows, looking out over the city.

"It's really coming down out there," she comments.

"Yeah, I know," he tells her. "We're supposed to get about a foot of that powdery white stuff," he adds. "I thought for sure you'd call to say you guys weren't coming."

"What?"

"It's been all over the news since last night," he informs her. "Hold on, it's probably running again."

Olivia follows him to the living room where he channel-surfs until he finds what he's looking for.

"… _if you don't have to leave your homes today, don't," the meteorologist advises. "It's coming down fast, there will be ten to twelve inches of accumulation and roads will be very hazardous."_

The blonde pauses, pressing her earpiece closer, seemingly to get some breaking information.

" _I'm being told that the New York Department of Transportation says trucks will be rolling around the clock to try and contend with this weather, but they are advising you to stay home if you don't absolutely have to drive…"_

"Well that's…awful," she tells him as he powers down the flat screen. "Guess that's what I get for habitually avoiding news coverage," she adds. "We should get going."

"Come on Liv," he begins. "Weren't you listening?" Elliot asks. "They said not to go out if you don't have to."

"But I do have to," she contends. "We need to get back home before this gets any worse," she goes on, gesturing at the snow fall. "I have an SUV with four-wheel drive, we'll be fine."

"And what about the assholes that drive like shit in decent weather?" He asks. "You gonna trust them in a blizzard with your son in the car?"

Olivia runs a frustrated hand through her hair then looks over at the whited-out sky beyond the glass.

"You have a point."

"You don't have to make it sound like the end of the world," he tells her. "The streets should be drivable by morning, the fridge is full and thanks to you I have furniture to sleep on."

"I'm not gonna put you out of your own bed," she says. "Noah and I can take Eli's room."

"Fine," Elliot acquiesces. "I don't wanna have another argument."

"Good," she tells him. "Because I guess we're here for the night."

 **E/N: Stuck for the night with Elliot and a sleeping Noah. Hmm.**


	6. Riding Out The Storm

**AN: The passage from** _ **Jurassic Park**_ **by Michael Crichton remains the sole property of his New York Times bestselling ass…lol. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story. Please keep up the reviews!**

January 7th, 2017 - Continued

Elliot and Olivia managed to order a storage ottoman and a lamp for Eli's room, furniture for the spare bedroom as well as a formal dining table for the area just outside the kitchen. With the rate they're going, his place will be done a week ahead of schedule.

He whipped up a grilled chicken and veggie stir-fry for them for dinner and it was surprisingly just as good as his pizza.

Eli's bedroom has been darkened, and her son and former partner sit on the queen bed with a flashlight reading one last story. Ever the prepared mom, Olivia had an extra set of clothes for Noah but none for herself. But there is no way she could've have predicted the need for pajamas.

Elliot so graciously provided a t-shirt of Eli's for Noah and a well-worn oversized tee and gym shorts for her to get comfortable in. Fresh out of the shower, she pauses in the doorway watching and listening.

 _The injured boy's lips moved. "Raptor," he whispered._

 _In a tone of horror, Manuel said. "It bit him."_

" _What bit him?"_

" _What's a raptor?"_

" _It means hupia."_

He stops reading when he notices that Noah is sound asleep. Elliot tucks him in tighter and gets up from the bed, surprised to find Olivia in the room. When he's close enough she pulls the book from his hand.

"Jurassic Park?"

"He likes dinosaurs," he responds, shrugging his shoulders.

"And you don't think he's a little young to be hearing about them eating people in such vivid detail?"

"Hey, I skip the gory stuff and make roaring sounds instead," he explains. "He seems to like it."

Olivia lightly presses the book into his chest until he takes hold of it again.

"I think I'll stick to _'Goodnight Dinosaur'_ ," she tells him. "No one gets killed in that story."

Elliot smirks and continues past her, but not completely out of the room before stopping.

"By the way," he begins, not bothering to turn around. "You look pretty good wearing my clothes."

He doesn't bother waiting for a response, just steps beyond the threshold and walks away. She shakes her head as she climbs into bed next to a slumbering Noah.

The place is too quiet.

At her apartment, she can hear the humming of the refrigerator and a crunching noise when it's making ice. A clock loudly ticks on her living room wall. And every now and then there is the unmistakable sound of her son moving around. Not here though. It takes at least an hour for her to finally fall asleep.

But it's short lived.

Olivia manages about four hours of rest before the same thing that puts her to sleep in her own place, wakes her up in his. Noise. The rumbling of her own stomach, to be precise. After confirming that her son is still slumbering peacefully, she gets up with plans to nuke some cold pizza or chicken stir-fry.

Padding into the living room, she tries to be quiet, remembering how much of a light sleeper her former partner used to be. Once she opens the large refrigerator door and eyes her choices, she grabs a slice of the delicious pizza he made.

Olivia pulls out a plate, places the food in the microwave and opens the door before the timer can go off. When she turns to move on the other side of the counter, she nearly drops the slice when Elliot surprises her.

"Shit."

"Sorry," he says but smiles.

"You scared the hell out of me."

"I can tell," he admits. "What are you doing up at," he pauses, looking at the time on the microwave. "3:38am?"

"I got hungry," Olivia answers, walking around him to slide into a bar stool. "And your place is too damn quiet."

He's wearing his terry cloth robe but the peek she got at his chest when he surprised her, leads her to believe that there's not much beneath it. As he bends to pull out the leftover chicken stir-fry, she avoids taking in an eyeful of his ass by focusing on her pizza. After heating his food, Elliot parks on the stool next to hers.

"You're retired," she begins. "Surely you're not prone to getting up so early."

"Old habits," he says between chews.

"It's been years, Elliot."

"I don't sleep that well sometimes," he reveals.

"Nightmares?"

He pauses before he answers, deciding to be honest instead of what their previous history tells him to do, which is to evade or change the subject.

"Yeah."

"Me too," she nearly whispers.

"Some of 'em are about our worse cases, others about Lizzy," he goes on, a humorless laugh escaping. "She hates that I still call her that sometimes."

"Some of mine…are about Noah being lost and I can hear him calling out for me but I can never find him," Olivia confesses. "Most are about a certain psychopath whose name I no longer bother giving voice to."

"A quick bullet to the head was too easy for that sadistic bastard."

She can't disagree but she could've gone the rest of her life without seeing someone else commit suicide in her presence. Once, sure as hell was enough.

They eat in silence after that. Ten minutes later she volunteers to rinse their plates before adding them to the dishwasher. Once she's done, Olivia turns to find him standing at the row of windows opposite the kitchen, arms crossed against his chest.

She doesn't hesitate to join him.

"Beauty and danger all wrapped up one," she comments as they both eye the snow-covered streets below.

"More of one than the other," Elliot says. "Like someone I used to know."

"El—

"I wish," he interrupts, turning to face her. "I wish I could come up with the words to magically fix what's broken between us," he adds. "But I have no idea what those are."

"That's because they don't exist," Olivia tells him. "And we just…we can't go back El, it's the reason I agreed to move forward."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

He stalks away and she follows.

"What do you expect from me?" She asks, turning him with a hand to his shoulder.

"I've apologized Liv…repeatedly."

"Yeah well, sometimes sorry just isn't enough."

"I don't know what else to do," he says, stepping closer.

"Then do nothing," she spits. "You should be able to handle that," Olivia throws out, sidestepping him to return to bed.

When he grabs her hand in mid stride, she faces him and suddenly she's the angry one again, getting nearly chest to chest.

"This isn't working out, _Elliot_."

He takes a deep breath, looks down and away, then surprises her by grabbing her other hand before stepping closer.

"I can't lose you again," he asserts, his voice affected. "Not again Liv."

And just like that, all the fight leaves her and she can't hold his eyes. He releases one of her hands, lifting her chin to stare into her browns. Then, he leans in as slow as he's capable of and descends onto her mouth.

Elliot pulls her bottom lip in with his teeth, suckling on it. The moan that opens her mouth, gives him the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue alongside hers. She's instantly warm and all she can think about is getting more of him. Olivia steps closer, wrapping her arms around his waist as he threads his fingers through her hair.

He backs up to the sofa, sitting down with her automatically straddling him. She palms his face as he moves warm hands up the back of the t-shirt she wears, roaming her soft skin with his strong hands, enjoying the fact that she's braless. Olivia opens the collar of his robe, running her fingers over the warm flesh she finds at his neck and shoulders.

She finds herself needing, needing and wanting him more than she has anyone in a ridiculously long time. Pulling the robe down to explore him is instinctive. Running her hands from his chest down his abdomen isn't even part of her thought process and neither is following the trail with the heat of open-mouth kisses.

It's simply what's happening.

It feels glorious to finally have his hands on her body, and when she begins to feel the firmness of his growing erection at the juncture of her thighs, it's confirmation that yes, Elliot is probably very much naked beneath his robe. Olivia would love to roll her hips just once, to know him, feel him in a way that they've both resisted over the years.

But one time would never be enough so she forces herself to pull away altogether.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Sex isn't gonna fix what's broken between us," Olivia responds. "This wasn't supposed to be a part of our…reconciliation."

Elliot sweetly caresses the skin of her lower back, and she loses her train of thought.

"Damn."

"That good or bad?"

"It's just…hard to remember that I'm mad at you when we're touching each other like this," she begins. "And speaking of hard," she smirks, climbing off his lap.

Elliot takes one look at her kiss swollen lips, tousled hair and flushed skin and needs to look away to calm himself.

"Knowing that would've made our partnership a lot more interesting," Elliot comments, after he takes a few deep breaths.

"And ended it _and_ your marriage a hell of a lot sooner," she points out, taking a step back to put more distance between her and temptation.

"True," he admits, standing from the sofa. "But maybe things would've worked out between us years ago."

"Then you wouldn't have had Eli and I wouldn't have Noah," Olivia points out. "Things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to El," she reasons. "Took me a painful while to figure that out but I have."

She's rendered him speechless yet again so he simply nods his understanding.

"I should get back to bed," she tells him.

"Guess I'll try to manage some more sleep too."

She begins walking towards Eli's room and he follows behind heading to his own.

"Maybe you should ask your doctor for something to help," Olivia suggests, turning to face him.

"No need. Most nights I sleep like a baby," he tells her. "Having you here may have triggered a memory or two that I wasn't expecting."

" _I'm_ giving you nightmares?" She asks. "And you wanna pursue a relationship?"

"God yes," Elliot asserts, stepping closer and taking her hand. "I've slept better since coming to your office than I have in months," he contends. "You're good for me."

"But are you good for me?"

"I'm definitely working on it," he says. "Do you really not miss me anymore?"

"How can I miss you when you're standing right in front of me?" She reasons.

"You said you're only doing this for Kathleen," Elliot reminds her. "So, what happens after the wedding Liv?" He asks, raising his other hand to her cheek. "I don't wanna go back to being nothing to each other."

She looks back and forth between his eyes, sees the sincerity, the emotion and knows she doesn't want that for them either. Then again, she also can't say she's ready to go all in with him.

"I don't have an answer to that right now," Olivia responds honestly, covering his hand on her face with her own. "But I can say that I'll keep trying."

He leans down to kiss her on the lips again and it's a challenge to both not to let things go any further.

"That's all I can ask for."

Elliot releases her and they go their separate ways.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" She asks, turning one last time. "Maybe you should ask your therapist for some Ambien or something."

He turns with a cocky smirk on his face and Olivia knows he's about to say something that may keep _her_ up.

"If you're so worried about me not sleeping, you could always come and read me some _Jurassic Park_."

"Somehow, I think coming into your bedroom won't lead to much rest for either of us," Olivia admits, thankful for the shadows of the night hiding the blush she feels spreading over her face.

"I don't know what you mean lieutenant," Elliot tries. "I'm just a tired man trying to get some sleep."

"Oh you're trying to get _something_ alright," she says, continuing to Eli's room. "Goodnight Mr. Not-So-Subtle."

He has no defense against the truth as he watches her sashay back to bed.

"G'night."

January 8th, 2017

She manages to get another four hours of rest before waking. Clearly her body doesn't recognize when it can sleep in on a Sunday. Looking to her left, she discovers Noah's circadian rhythms however, are entuned to the day of the week.

After washing her face and using the spare toothbrush she found last night, she pads into the kitchen to see what kind of breakfast she can manage with the plentiful contents of Elliot's Sub-Zero.

It doesn't take long to toast a waffle, throw some fruit in a bowl for Noah, make a veggie and cheese egg white omelet for herself and a meat and veggie omelet for Elliot. When she's done starting coffee, and pouring orange juice for her son, curiosity gets the best of her.

She wants to see that open sky above Elliot's bed.

Olivia checks to make sure Noah is still sleeping soundly before she crosses the hall and ventures towards Elliot's room. As she approaches, her sole focus she thinks, is to simply look up at the skylight that immediately caught her attention the first time she saw it. Then, she'll just call his name to wake him for breakfast.

But you know what they say. The best laid plans…

The tempting expanse of his bare chest is the first thing she notices in leaning against the frame of his door. Olivia knows he's turned up the heat for them because as notoriously drafty as lofts can be, a simple blanket was enough for her and Noah.

As far as she can tell, Elliot's made up for it by sleeping naked. Or at least he could be. A sheet is draped low on his waist and his arms and legs peek out from beneath. He's not wearing a t-shirt nor pajama bottoms so, she can only deduce that the rest of him is just as bare.

When it dawns on her that she's ogling her former partner, her head angles upwards, remembering what she walked in there for. The sky is no longer whited out, but overcast and gray with thick, heavy-looking clouds.

And as she ventures in closer, up the two steps of the platform his bed sits on for a better look, Olivia can't help but notice that despite the lack of sun, the view is as breathtaking as he described.

"Morning," Elliot says, in a deep sleepy timbre.

"Morning," she responds, hiding the fact that he's startled her. "I was just –

"Admiring the view," he concludes, turning on his side to face her. "Yeah, I got that," he goes on. "Before my head cleared, for a minute there I thought I was having one of _those_ dreams."

Olivia ignores the way he's blatantly eying her like a wolf after sheep.

"I just came to tell you I made breakfast."

"You cooked?"

"Why are you so surprised?" She asks, placing her hands on both hips.

"It's not like you've ever asked me over for dinner or anything Liv," Elliot answers. "The only time I saw you near a stove was when I had to listen to you getting cozy with that lying piece of shit, Porter."

She sighs heavily, exasperated by the annoying parts of him that persist despite his assertions that he's different.

"Like I said," she begins, turning to leave. "I've changed," she adds as she reaches the doorway. "We'll get out of your hair after breakfast."

Elliot watches as she disappears from his sight, feeling as if he's stuck his foot in his mouth.

A few minutes later he and his stubbled face appear in a gray t-shirt and rumpled plaid pajama bottoms. Olivia has Noah scooted up to the counter as far as it can go so he doesn't fall, boosted up with a few books. He's working on his bowl of fruit as she forks her eggs.

"Omelet's in the microwave," she offers as he pours a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," he says.

He nukes his food for about a minute before sliding onto a stool next to Noah, putting the little boy between them.

"Hey buddy."

"Hi Ewwiot," he manages with a mouth full of waffle.

"Sweetie, chew all your food first before you talk."

"Ok," he says, nearly losing a bite to the counter.

She shakes her head and Elliot smiles watching the exchange.

"You find the possibility of choking amusing, do you?" Olivia asks over her son's head.

"No," he answers. "I just miss my kids being so small and cute."

"Don't forget entertaining," she advises, scruffing the hair on his little head. "It's never a dull moment with him."

"I don't doubt that."

Ten minutes later the adults are finished with breakfast and Noah manages to get most of his eaten before it falls onto the floor.

"Okay chipmunk time to go," Olivia says, sitting him down before attempting to clean up the mess.

"I'll get it," Elliot tells her. "You cooked, I'll clean."

"Thanks."

"Thank you for cooking," he says. "You make a mean omelet," he adds. "And…I'm sorry for insulting your culinary skills earlier."

She doubts he would've bothered to apologize if they were still partnered.

"It's okay," she offers. "I've insulted a lot more than your culinary skills since you've popped back into my life," she adds.

A look of shock blankets his face and a feeling of self-satisfaction from the dig takes hold as Olivia picks up her son and walks away to get ready.

In just shy of an hour she manages to get Noah and herself showered and changed. Herself back into the clothes she came in, Noah in a sweater and corduroys she brought for him. As they're walking towards the living room, she sees Elliot sitting on the sofa, watching the latest news.

He's showered and changed as well, now donning a long-sleeved t-shirt, pushed up his forearms and a pair of well-worn jeans.

"They're saying it's done snowing for now."

"What about the streets?"

"Drivable," he reports. "And any more snowfall won't be enough accumulation to shut the city down again."

"Good to know."

"In that much of a hurry to get away from me?"

"Of course not," she tells him. "But I need to get out of these clothes and if I'm gonna have a lazy day on the couch, I'd rather it be my own."

She swears he mutters something about happily helping her out of her clothes.

"What's that?"

"I said you have a point," he answers with a smirk. "I'll get your things."

She and Noah follow him to the walk-in closet and Elliot helps him on with his coat, scarf and mittens while Olivia bundles herself up, preparing for the cold.

"I hope you don't mind, but I moved your car into the private garage and let it heat up for a little while," he informs her. "Investing in a remote start may not be such a bad idea."

"Thanks that was thoughtful of you," Olivia tells him as they near the elevator. "And thank you for cooking and giving us a place to ride out the storm."

"Anytime."

She takes Noah's hand and they board the car.

"Say goodbye to Elliot, baby."

"Bye Ewwiot."

"Bye champ, see you later."

Just before the doors close, Elliot stops them. He stands there sheepishly as Olivia looks at him with confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he manages. "I was just wondering…if you'd like to go out."

She exhales and slightly shakes her head.

"I agreed to finish the loft and go to the wedding," Olivia reminds him. "Thinking beyond that is a little too much for me right now."

Elliot steps forward, letting the doors close behind himself so that he's no longer stopping them from leaving. He leans his shoulder against the side of the car, directly in front of her and holds her eyes.

"But you must know or at least _feel_ , that what's between us now has always been there Liv," he offers. "You can't tell me you aren't the least bit curious about seeing where it leads."

When he reaches out to caress the apple of her cheek, she leans against his palm and her eyes close despite her claims of not wanting to pursue anything with him. A silent _ding_ signals their arrival to the private garage.

"Saved by the bell," Olivia says, scooping up Noah. "I'll call you."

She sidesteps him, quickly heading for her SUV.

"I'll be waiting."

 **EN: And just how long is she going to keep our favorite former partner waiting?**


	7. A Girl's Gotta Eat

**A/N: The woman's been deeply wounded. I can't really blame Olivia for her attempts at resistance. Feel free to listen to Jealous by Labrinth as it fits so perfectly with this extended chapter. Beautifully sad song in which, I found a bit of inspiration. So, sit back and grab something thirst-quenching. It's gonna be a long one folks. Rated M for adult content.**

January 11th 2017

Elliot saunters into the squad room, brown bag in hand, at around 12:30 pm the following Wednesday. His arm holds a spinach and strawberry salad with feta cheese, grilled chicken and dressing on the side for her. The chicken parm hoagie he has for himself is a rare treat. He knows he isn't burning calories the way he used to so he watches his waistline.

And maybe he's hoping he'll have reason for her to hold onto it.

"Is she in?" He asks Fin, stopping by his desk.

"Yeah but the door's closed and the blinds are shut," he answers. "Usually means she doesn't wanna be bothered. So, good luck with that Stabler."

"Thanks, I think."

He doesn't see his former colleague shake his head as he's walking away. Luckily for him Rollins and Carisi are out on a case. They'd likely not let him get away without at least one or two lines of inappropriate questions.

After knocking twice, he lets himself in. There Olivia sits behind her desk, black frames atop her head, two short stacks of folders on either side of the cluttered surface, her laptop open and a look of sheer frustration before hanging up the phone.

Elliot gives her a broad smile when she finally looks up and sees him.

"Hey Liv."

She heaves an exasperated sigh and runs a hand through her hair.

"What are you doing here Elliot?"

"You said you'd call," he answers. "I hadn't heard from you so I decided to drop by."

"It's only been three days."

"I didn't get the sense that you'd actually reach out," he admits, pulling her salad from the bag and sitting it in front of her. "Figured you couldn't avoid me if I came here…with food."

Her stomach seems to growl on cue and he grins knowingly as he takes the bag and plants himself on the couch in front of her desk.

"I wasn't avoiding you," Olivia says, popping open the plastic tray and pulling out the fork. "I don't know if you've noticed but I'm actually trying to run a squad here."

"Trust me I've noticed," he tells her, pulling out his sandwich and taking a bite. "It's most of what you seem to do next to taking care of Noah."

"Well at least you didn't say it's _all_ I do," she points out. "I feel like I'm short-changing him sometimes."

"You're a great mom Liv," he contends. "Never doubt that."

"Thank you for saying so," she tells him in between bites. "And for bringing me lunch too but I don't know if I'll be able to get away this week to help with the loft."

"Come on Liv, surely you can find a few hours for me."

"Elliot I'm up to my ears in mileage logs, overtime expenditures and requisition forms," she explains. "Not to mention the brass is giving me one excuse after another as to why they can't manage more help yet expect the same damn results."

"Sounds like you could use a night out."

"I don't need a night out," she says, taking another bite of her salad. "I need an extra hand and for there to be more than twenty-four hours in a day."

"Then how about a night in?"

"Elliot."

"Just a few hours," he begs. "We only have the den and my bedroom left so it shouldn't take long."

Those blues of his have always pulled at her. And this new habit he has of staring at her with added heat, isn't helping her say no.

"Fine," Olivia acquiesces. "But you come by my place so if we have any more inclement weather Noah gets to sleep in his own bed."

"Deal."

"And when we're finished Elliot, that's it," she asserts. "We're done. I don't see you again until you're picking me up for the wedding."

"That's it?" He asks, surprised by her tone. "You've decided what's between us isn't worth exploring?"

She looks at his incredulous expression before quickly returning her eyes to whatever new form she's filling in on her laptop and taking another bite from her salad.

"Liv?"

"Why are you pressing the issue Elliot?" She questions. "Yes. Obviously, there's an attraction to one another," she tells him, eluding to their little make session on his sofa. "One that's been there longer than either of us cares to admit."

"But?" He asks, putting his sandwich aside.

"Look around," Olivia begins, gesturing to her cluttered desk. "I barely have time for my son," she reminds him. "I thought I made that clear when you initially suggested I play interior decorator."

"Yet you managed to find time for me anyway," he points out, smirking.

"And I'm starting to regret it."

"Really?" He asks, turning serious.

"We haven't seen one another in years," she starts. "Now, all the sudden I can't get rid of you."

"If you really want me gone you know all you have to do is ask," he contends. "And you've already said you miss me just as much as I miss you, Liv," he continues. "What happened to starting over?"

"I'm finding it was easier to say than to actually do," she says, pushing the salad to the side. "There are times when I just wanna kick you in the balls and other times –

"Kiss me," he concludes, making her roll her eyes.

"Unfortunately," she agrees. "It's been pretty damn confusing."

"And you think avoiding me is gonna help?"

Olivia parks her elbows on her desk and massages both temples with her fingers.

"I didn't have this headache before you got here," she tries, squinting at him.

"Liar."

She takes a deep breath before exhaling slowly.

"What do you want from me Elliot?"

"You said you wanted to start over Liv," he begins. "That I had the month to redeem myself."

"I did," she admits. "But I also said I'm only doing this for Kathleen and the idea of us together isn't a good one," she reminds him. "Starting over doesn't mean you and I in an intimate relationship," she adds. "It just means we can be amicable towards each other, maybe work on becoming friends again."

He gets up takes his trash and hers and drops it into the bin. Then he relocates a stack of folders and moves close to sit on top of her desk as she leans back in her chair.

"A lot has happened," he admits. "We've both been through hell and I fully confess to fuckin' up not only with how I left things with you five and half years ago, but also with the bullshit I pulled during our partnership."

"I thought you were tired of apologizing."

"I was wrong to say that," he adds. "You should be the one who gets to decide when you've heard enough apologies."

"Did your shrink put you on happy pills?"

He has a short laugh and shakes his head.

"No Liv," he answers. "I remember being that petty, jealous and possessive asshole,' he continues. "Knowing the entire time I had no right to be."

"Again, I ask," she begins. "What do you want?"

"One date," Elliot tells her. "One opportunity to be more than Benson and Stabler _'work_ _partners'_ and someone to you other than that asshole that didn't bother to tell you he was retiring."

She rubs her temples again and closes her eyes as the throbbing in her head continues. He steps behind Olivia, pulling her hands away as he begins to massage her scalp.

"What are you doing?"

"Try to relax," he whispers, after bending towards her right ear.

A few minutes later she manages to do that, leaning her head forward and resting her arms on her desk. Elliot moves his hands to her neck, then to her shoulders, massaging lightly and then deeply resulting in a quiet moan from her.

It's now or never.

"I was thinking we could go to one of those fancy French places that puts a small amount of food on a large plate but charges an obscene amount of money because it looks pretty," he says, making her laugh.

"You trying to impress me El?"

He finishes the massage and returns to his spot on her desk but sits closer, hanging clasped hands between his legs as he meets her eyes.

"Absolutely," he answers. "But it doesn't matter where we go or what we do," he adds, his voice softening. "So long as you're willing to give me – us, a real chance," he says. "And if we don't work that way—then I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all."

Elliot genuinely has a way with words when he wants to. And, for as long as she's known the man, that tone of voice shouldn't still work on her. But it always does. She's pretty sure he knows it too.

"Friday night 7 o'clock," Olivia agrees with an exasperated sigh. "And I've had my fill of French cuisine, so I'm thinking…Batard."

"That's not too far from the loft," he points out.

"I know."

"You plan on picking me up?"

"Yep."

"How…new millennium of you," Elliot says, surprised. "This a recent change?" He asks. "Because I'm pretty sure the dates I've seen you with, picked _you_ up."

"It'll be a first," she confesses. "Just in case I'm in a _'kick you in the balls'_ sort of mood, I don't want you to have to go too far for ice."

"How sweet."

"I thought so," she counters. "And Saturday afternoon, if the date was disastrous—

"As you assume it will be," he says, eyebrow raised.

"Then we can finish the loft, not see one another again until the wedding and –

"I can never say you didn't give me the one date I asked for," Elliot concludes.

"Absolutely," she tells him, mocking his earlier response.

He ignores her smart remark leans down for a kiss on the lips and at the last possible second, goes for her cheek.

"See?" He whispers with his mouth touching her ear. "Chemistry," he adds, rounding her desk.

"You ass."

Elliot simply winks as he saunters away.

"How's your headache lieutenant?" He asks, gathering his coat from the rack by the door.

Olivia hadn't realized until he asked, that her head no longer throbs and her neck and shoulders are completely knot free.

"Gone," she answers. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he says. "See you Friday."

She nods and moves the pointer on her mouse to wake the sleeping laptop.

"And Liv?" He begins, opening her office door.

"Yeah?"

"I really hope you're in that _other_ kind of mood by then."

Elliot winks, then closes the door behind himself leaving her to work. She thinks with her luck, they'll start out with a fight that will have her wanting to kick him in the balls, but end up riding him in that behemoth he calls a bed.

Either way, Olivia has a feeling it's going to be a memorable first date. And, hopefully their last.

January 13th, 2017

When Friday rolls around, she's surprised to find herself more nervous than she expected considering how long she's known Elliot. After three wardrobe changes, she decides on a knee length, form-fitting black dress. It's sleeveless and nearly sheer from her cleavage up but she'll be wearing her wool coat for warmth and hopefully the restaurant isn't cold.

Her earrings dangle so she's chosen not to wear a necklace. Olivia somehow knows he's always liked her hair down therefore she puts a wave in it, parts it to one side and lets it flow. Her makeup has been toned down over the years. A pink gloss shines her lips instead of a deep red stain. Eyeliner and mascara are simply dark brown instead of creating smoky black eyes. She wears her signature ring with a few bangles, slips on classic but sexy black heels, grabs her silver clutch and heads to the loft.

Olivia always puts her best foot forward, despite her trepidations.

Elliot is on the opposite end of the spectrum. He's excited for the night and happy for the opportunity to prove her wrong. If the way she's responded to his kisses is any indication of what they could have, he's all for it. But he understands why she's fighting him every step of the way.

Their history is a complicated one, for lack of a more accurate term, and he only added extra pain to the mix with the abandonment of their partnership.

He's chosen a pin-striped suit, stark white dress shirt and a matching dark blue plaid tie for their date. His face is as clean shaven as she remembers, hoping that familiarity will remind her of the good times they've shared. And just as he's tying his left shoe, he hears the bell chime, announcing that he has about two minutes before Olivia makes her appearance.

Elliot hurries through the open space to meet her when the elevator doors part. He's always loved seeing her dressed up for her dates. Of course, he's always hated that they were never with him. He gives her a broad smile as she steps into his place.

Because tonight, it is.

"You look beautiful," he says, approaching and kissing her on the cheek.

And after shaving his salt and pepper stubble, he looks just like her partner again. It's no help in sorting out her conflicting emotions.

"Thanks," Olivia tells him. "You don't look so bad yourself."

He steps back and enters the closet to retrieve his overcoat.

"Shall we?" Elliot asks.

"Let's."

She finds a spot about a block down from the restaurant and Elliot rushes to jump out and open the car door. He offers his elbow and they walk arm in arm down the sidewalk and Olivia finds that she's leaning in closer. She tells herself that it's simply for warmth.

But we always justify the things we do, to have what we want.

He opens the door for her and they are shown to a quiet booth in a corner. It's a full house but there's no bustle. Soft conversation, silverware hitting plates and glasses clinking together is the soundtrack at Batard. Dark oak floors, pine columns and exposed brick walls flow surprisingly well with a white ceiling, crystal chandeliers and gold walls with inlayed foliage.

A young lady dressed like a penguin, approaches.

"Hi, I'm Emily and I'll be your server tonight," she says. "Can I start you off with something to drink?"

Olivia looks over the wine menu and decides on a glass of Vignamaggio Cabernet while Elliot takes whatever's on tap.

"You been here before?" She asks.

"Surprisingly not," he answers. "Always managed to end up in the city," he adds. "This place looks great though."

"Yeah," she says, looking around. "Seems you've been missing out on something you could've had not too far from home."

Elliot looks over the top of his menu and grins at her.

"In more ways than one."

She's insulted by his bold assumption.

"Who says you could've had me?" Olivia asks, eyebrows raised. "Because despite our mutual attraction, there was never a time when I didn't see you as my married partner."

Elliot puts his menu down and focuses solely on his dinner companion.

"With some effort on my part," he starts. "I think I could've changed that."

"None of your efforts would've changed the issues IAB and the brass would've given us."

"Well...our partnership and my marriage," he begins. "Are two obstacles that no longer exist."

He holds her eyes from across the short expanse of the table and Olivia has to look away.

"Here we are," says Emily, arriving to place their drink orders in front of them. "Have you had a chance to decide what you want or do you need more time?"

The question holds double meaning for the former partners and Olivia nearly chokes on her wine. Noticing how affected she is, he graciously goes first. Afterwards, she manages to choose an appetizer and main course without embarrassing herself further.

Once their orders are taken, Emily leaves them. Sensing a growing tension, Elliot brings up Noah, hoping it'll help her relax.

Fortunately for him, it works.

"He's getting crafty," she reveals with a smile. "I told him he couldn't have a cookie and what does he do?"

"Gets it himself of course."

"I take it you've seen this movie before?"

"Seen it, lived it and Maureen still has the scar to prove it," he answers. "What happened with Noah?"

"He got his potty stool, climbed up on the counter and had the box in hand before I busted him," Olivia answers. "Scared the hell out of me."

"At least you caught him," he tells her, leaning back against the moss colored leather booth and getting more comfortable.

She leans forward as he sips his beer, preparing to listen.

"I was new to the uniform and not making much money," he begins. "Kathy was pulling an extra shift at the hospital and I _thought_ , Maureen and I were taking a nap."

"Uh, oh."

"Uh, oh is right," Elliot tells her. "One minute she's sleeping on my chest, next thing I know there's a loud crash, a sickening thump and a lot of screaming."

"Sounds terrifying."

He nods his agreement then continues.

"She wanted a snack and was trying to good a Good Humor bar when she slipped from the chair and banged her head on the edge of the refrigerator door handle," he explains. "Had to go to the emergency room and get four stitches."

"Ouch," Olivia says. "Poor Maureen."

"And poor me," Elliot says. "Kathy didn't speak to my ass for days or so much as give me a peck on the cheek before work."

She laughs at his revelation.

"Good for her."

"It could've happened to anybody," he defends. "And all that time she was sure to only make enough hot food for her and Maur," he adds. "I was stuck eating cold cuts."

Olivia laughs all the harder.

"Go ahead, yuk it up," he says, smirking. "All you women just stick together don't you?"

"No," she answers, after recovering. "But if I left Noah with you and came back to find four stitches in my son's head I'd probably shoot you."

"Should that ever happen I'll make sure to bubble wrap the kid and watch him like a hawk," he promises. "'Cause I'm pretty sure my vest is somewhere in a box marked _'police stuff'_."

Conversation about the escapades that go along with parenting sneaky children, gets them through the appetizers. Finding out Cragen had been keeping up with them both post retirement, brings them to the clearing of the plates from the main course.

"Any room for dessert?" Emily asks.

"I couldn't possibly," Olivia answers. "But everything was delicious."

"Nothing else for me either," Elliot responds. "Except the check, please."

"Sure," the young lady says and returns minutes later to put the folded binder between them.

They settle the bill and after putting on their coats, Olivia feels his strong hand on the small of her back as they walk through the restaurant. It remains as he pushes the door open but drops it in favor of her palm in his as they walk down the block.

"This okay?" Elliot asks.

"Yeah," she answers. "It's a short walk."

She tells herself her hands were cold anyway and it's back to rationalizations.

The drive to his loft is short and quiet. Olivia pulls her hand from his to drive and finds she misses the feeling of his palm against hers. After entering the private garage, she knows he has every intention of asking her up.

They laughed during dinner. The conversation didn't get too intense. The wine was sweet, oaky and paired perfectly with her main course. The food was amazing. And she genuinely had a wonderful time. One of the best she's had in a long while.

But she should end the date now.

"You're not gonna walk me up?" He asks, biting his lower lip to hide his grin. "Make sure I get in safely?"

"You're a big boy," she responds. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Then what about a nightcap?" Elliot suggests.

She should say no but shuts off the engine and eyes him sincerely.

"I'm pretty sure I had enough wine at dinner and I do have to drive home," Olivia points out. "But I'll take _one_ cup of coffee."

"Deal."

He hurries out of his side before she can change her mind and rushes around to open the door for her.

"When did everything with you become such a negotiation?" She asks, as they walk the short distance to the private elevator, her hand in his.

"When I realized how effective it is," he responds as the doors close.

"I guess there's something to be said for having a good shrink," she tells him. "Neither of us has any trouble saying what's on our minds."

"I suspect that's because there's nothing to risk," Elliot points out, caressing her fingers with his thumb. "Makes things easier."

"I don't know about that."

The elevator reaches the top floor and they walk out into his place. Elliot takes both their coats, depositing them in the closet before continuing to the kitchen.

She takes a seat at the counter and watches as he pulls out the coffee.

"I think tonight's a pretty good indication of how things could be," he tries. "So, if they end here and now –

"'It'll be my fault."

"Your words, not mine."

Olivia eyes him over the short expanse of the counter and he stares right back until she feels a heat beginning in the pit of her stomach. She sees the spark in his eyes as he leans forward and touches his mouth to hers once, then again before she's holding on to the nape of his neck to keep him against her lips.

"That smells great," she tells him, noticing the green light on the coffeemaker after they pull apart. "You remember how I take it?"

"Absolutely," he answers.

"One cup, Elliot."

"Right," he agrees, grabbing the cream from the fridge. "One cup."

Three cups of coffee later, they're sitting on his living room, facing each other on the sofa, still chatting away.

"What about when the president of that lesbian rights group—

"LesBeStrong," Elliot reminds her.

"Yeah," she says, "What about when she kissed _you_?" Olivia asks. "You can't tell me that was just as bad as me having to kiss Stuckey to save your ass."

"That was all lips," he points out. "I think you opened your mouth a little for that homicidal bastard."

She raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

"I went home after you got checked out and gargled with an entire bottle of mouthwash," she informs him. "Then brushed my teeth about eighteen times until my gums started to bleed."

"Well...it was a damn convincing performance."

She playfully slaps him on the shoulder.

"You never thought I meant any of that did you?"

"Course not," Elliot answers. "At least not all of it," he adds. "Even in jest there's always a little truth."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"So, all those times you joked about me rushing out to get to a hot date," Olivia begins. "You really thought that's where I was going?"

"Not every time but yeah," he admits. "I mean…look at you, why wouldn't you have had an active social calendar?"

"I don't know if you noticed," she begins. "But you and I worked the same damn, crazy, inconvenient hours," she reminds him. "A number of times I just went home with a long hot shower and my bed to look forward to."

"And others?"

"I've had a lot of absolutely phenomenal first and second dates," Olivia acknowledges. "But then they find out what kind of cases I handle and things get weird or they get tired of me having to cancel," she tells him. "There were spans of time where I didn't bother with dating at all just because the whole cycle was so tiresome and took more energy than I had to give."

"Sounds lonely," he comments, tenderly caressing the skin of the arm she has resting on the back of the sofa.

"Not all the time," she corrects him. "I grew up as an only child so solitude was something I was used to."

"You may have been used to it Liv, but I doubt you preferred it that way," he says. "Then again, it can get pretty lonely inside a dead marriage too."

Olivia picks up his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Can I ask…what finally happened to make you guys end things?"

"You already know half the reason," Elliot says. "Not communicating what I was feeling or going through until it was necessary."

"And here I thought all these years you only did that with me."

He offers her a small smile for the slight dig.

"Nope," he denies. "I'm sorry to say you weren't special in that regard."

"So, what's the other half?"

He takes a deep breath and exhales, trying first to simplify his thoughts into words.

"I think when a couple is together for as long as we were and as young as we started out," he begins. "You grow up fast, you learn to be responsible, pay bills, raise the kids and try to create an enjoyable life with all that."

Olivia sits patiently. Holding his eyes and listening intently without bombarding him with questions.

"Once most or all the kids are gone, and you're facing that empty nest syndrome, people talk about…rediscovering the relationship, getting to know each other again," Elliot goes on. "Rekindling the romance, but…."

"But?"

"No one is the same at fifty-something as they are at eighteen Liv," he answers. "One day we just sat down and realized that the people we'd grown into, weren't people who made one another happy."

"Wow."

"But we're making our divorce 2.0 work for us," he offers with a grin. "Alright that's enough about me."

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me Liv," Elliot tells her. "Don't I get some deep question to ask you?"

She rolls her eyes but doesn't let go of his hand.

"Fine, what is it you'd like to know El?"

He looks away from her with a single raised eyebrow, pretending to be in deep contemplation before facing her again.

Olivia giggles at his silly antics.

"Which way do you put your toilet paper on the roll?" He asks, feigning a serious tone. "Tail over or under?"

She laughs again before finally stopping to answer.

"Tail over," she says. "Anything else is pure insanity."

"Oh, thank God," Elliot tells her, causing another smile. "I thought you were one of _those_ people."

Olivia shakes her head, continues grinning.

"That really what you wanted to ask?"

He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head in the negative.

"But I think we've had enough heavy talk for one night."

"I agree."

"So, what do you think my chances of a second date are?" He asks.

The smile falls from Olivia's face as she sighs.

"I really don't think we should El," she tells him, withdrawing her hand at the same time. "As much fun as this has been, the way you just…left…I mean, we can't even say we're friends at this point."

Elliot looks disappointed as he rises from the couch. She thinks he's about to show her the door so she does the same.

Then she hears the music.

Labrinth's _Jealous_ floats out into the loft from a hidden audio system she hadn't known he possessed. Olivia stops all forward movement having made it near the barstools of his kitchen.

"If this is gonna be our first and last date," he begins. "I'm not gonna miss the opportunity to dance with you."

"You know I don't dance."

"Come on Liv…just this once."

There's hesitation on her part but in the end, she holds out her hand. Elliot takes the short steps to embrace her, and they begin moving.

The longer Olivia listens to the touchingly sweet and sad lyrics of the song, the more affected she becomes. And, the more affected she becomes, the closer she moves to him. By the time the melody fades to silence, she's essentially hugging him as they sway.

"I think this is the best first/last date I've ever had," Elliot whispers, attempting humor in the somber moment. "I'll walk you down."

When he pulls back to see her face, tears moisten her cheeks and Olivia's eying him like she'll never see him again after tonight.

"Liv?"

This time it's her lips that find his first. She places both palms against his neck as Elliot's arms automatically fall to surround her waist. The kiss is hungry, desperate even and after noticing the tears haven't stopped he pulls away again, causing her to drop her hands.

"I'm not going anywhere," he rasps, swiping at the moisture with the pads of his thumbs. "I promise."

Olivia listens and nods slowly because she's heard that before. But when he leans in to resume the kiss, she feels a truth that wasn't there with the last man who uttered those words. It's so slow and tender that any new tears won't be from the sadness born of goodbyes and what's not meant to be, but out of fear of the real thing.

She refuses to let that worry stop her. Not tonight.

Loosening his tie, she pulls it through his collar before tossing it aside to begin her work on his shirt buttons. Elliot hurriedly untucks it and drops it to the floor as he feels her pushing him backwards. It's his shoes that are next on their journey to his bedroom.

They stop in the hallway when he pins her wrists against the wall and begins to devour the tender flesh of her neck. Olivia thought sun would be breathtaking through the stained-glass window, but the moonlight is bathing their skin in a damn near ethereal glow, almost as if this moment was created solely for them.

He slides his hands down her arms to her back where he finds the zipper to her dress. There is no rush in taking it off and Elliot revels in each inch of exposed flesh as it comes into patient view. Elliot smiles almost shyly when he pulls back to see the contrast of her olive skin against a black satin corset and panties.

The souvenirs from her time with Lewis have paled and healed but are ever present reminders of what she endured at his hands. She's lived with them long enough not to dwell them anymore but had forgotten that Elliot hasn't had the same opportunity.

He reverently touches them with the tips of his fingers, almost as if he's expecting them to still hurt.

"Liv…God."

"It's okay," she assures him. "I'm not gonna break."

A flash of anger spreads over his face but it's not what she wants from him right now.

"Was it that bastard that-

Instead of letting him finish she melds her lips against his, pushing him into the opposite wall as she returns the favor of pinning his wrists. Olivia tastes him hungrily but not as frantic, suckling on his bottom lip before sliding her tongue against Elliot's. When he emits a low growl, she smiles against his mouth as they continue kissing.

The man has officially been distracted.

She leans back, releases his wrists, slowly sliding her palms down his arms, over his shoulders and lowering them over solid chest and defined abs before reaching for his belt. He watches as she opens the buckle, unbuttons his pants then drops the zipper.

With a slight tug, his slacks fall to the floor. The evidence of his arousal evident as Olivia eyes the bulge in the charcoal gray boxer briefs he wears. She bites her lower lip and her darkened gaze is a look of wanton desire.

Elliot steps out of his pants altogether before cupping the soft skin of her cheeks and fusing their mouths once again. She places one hand against his shoulder while gliding the other over his skin and snaking them inside his briefs.

They moan in tandem as she takes him in her hand and begins a rhythmic stroke. When she makes and attempt to pull them down, he finally stops her.

"I think it's time I showed you that view again."

Olivia doesn't get a chance to respond before he's smoothed his hands over her ass and behind her thighs to pick her up. He carries her to his bedroom where, he climbs the two stone steps before laying her down in the middle of the bed, hair fanned out behind her like a snow angel.

"Keep your eyes on the moon Liv," he suggests.

Elliot begins kissing her neck, then her shoulders as he spreads her thighs with the weight of his body. She feels his touch through the satin of the corset as he continues down her body, landing at the juncture between her legs.

He slides both hands beneath the sides of her panties, pulling them down as she lifts slightly to help. She feels a coolness on her skin, evidence of her own arousal having dampened what he's just bared by removing her panties.

The soft nips he makes along the inside of her thighs while teasingly good, are ridiculously incomparable to the feeling of him opening her with the strength of his tongue. And while the sight of the moon and stars is truly spectacular. Nothing has quite blown her mind like the sight of Elliot Stabler's head between her legs.

Olivia begins breathing faster, her mouth goes dry and her heart is beating at a pace that would only be healthy if she was participating in the NYC marathon. He puts his arms beneath both thighs, pulling him over his shoulders. The combination of applied pressure, the texture of his tongue and the rhythm he's set all conspire to move her closer to euphoria.

She tries to take deep breaths and fists his Egyptian cotton sheets to try and stave off her impending orgasm but she's powerless to stop it. Olivia arches her back, opens her mouth and closes her eyes as the stars in her mind's eye burst over and over again.

"God," she manages. "That was…fuck."

She hears a slight chuckle come from him but doesn't give a damn because she's still feeling the effects of his incredibly effective fourplay. Elliot climbs back up her body, capturing her lips again and she tastes a heady mixture of him and her.

Complete turn-on.

Olivia flips their position and she's now straddling him. Her former partner simply folds his arms behind his head and grins, obviously enjoying himself. She unclasps the corset and tosses it aside then leans down to join their lips again.

Sensuously, she tickles the roof of his mouth with her tongue before sliding it against his and taking his lower lip into her mouth. Olivia lowers her hands to his chest, running her thumb over one of his nipples in a circular pattern. She takes a mental note when she feels him stiffen further beneath her with a guttural moan.

Elliot flips their positions once more, planting warm open-mouthed kisses from her chin to her neck, into her cleavage until her reaches one rosy, erect nipple. He gives it a slight tug with his teeth making her hiss before latching on with the warmth of his mouth. While treating the one with the coarseness of his tongue, he palms the other massaging it and creating a near painful but pleasurable combination of sensations.

She encourages his ministrations by placing her hand on the back of his head and caressing his ear. But as much as Olivia is thoroughly enjoying what he's doing, she rolls her hip over his clothed erection just once to let him know what she'd rather be getting.

He gets the hint and lowers his boxer briefs, kicking them off before settling himself at Olivia's side instead of planting himself at the juncture of her thighs. Before she can protest, he slides his hand down over her mound, entering her with one finger while using the pad of his thumb against the most sensitive parts of her to begin creating a delicious friction.

Olivia wants to tell him to stop, that what she wants, what she _needs_ is him, all of him. But what he's doing just feels too damn good to utter those words. He's not kissing her, he's not touching any other part of her, just watches as the stages of pleasure play out over her beautiful face.

When her second orgasm hits and she throws her head back in ecstasy with a gaping mouth, it's then that Elliot kisses her, but not on her lips. First the lids of her eyes, then her nose and lastly and tenderly on the scars of her chest.

Olivia reaches for him after she comes back to herself, sliding her hand to the nape of his neck as she pulls him in for another passionate kiss. Elliot covers her body with his as they continue, finally and blissfully landing exactly where she's wanted him. This time she doesn't wait, she wraps her hand around him before he can drive her any crazier and gets him to take the hint.

He slips into her warmth gradually, until their pelvises meet. She points her knees towards the head of the bed, making room for him to move. Elliot slides his hand up her right arm until their fingers are intertwined at her shoulder. He holds himself above her with the strength of his other arm as he begins a lazy rhythm.

Olivia moves with him and they work together at first slowly then feverishly, to get them where they want to be. And once he finds her spot, he punishes it repeatedly, causing her to scream out and writhe beneath him. She wraps her leg around Elliot, allowing him to get deeper, spurring moans from them both. Her breaths are quickening, his heart is racing and beads of sweat are beginning to break out on his skin. So, he picks up the pace, grasping her thigh higher on his hip as she tries to find purchase on his back.

"I'm close El," she tries. "But you feel so good," she manages. "God, it's so…"

"I know," he rasps. "Me too, just…let go Liv."

With one final stroke, she shatters and Elliot isn't far behind with her orgasm milking out his own, leaving the former partners spent, glistening in sweat and fully satiated. After regaining enough strength to move, he rolls off her and onto his back, pulling her to coat his side.

Olivia tangles her legs with his as he caresses the skin of her lower back with his fingers. She uses hers to play with the smattering of hair he has on his chest. They're lying under a nearly full moon, a cloudless sky full of twinkling stars after having her former partner and best friend make love to her and she's speechless.

"You okay?" Elliot asks, rubbing the soft skin of her shoulder.

"More than," she answers, meeting his eyes in the moonlight.

"It's just…you're kind of quiet."

She kisses his chest to reassure him.

"The women you usually sleep with chatty afterwards?"

"Not that there's been many," he begins. "But they manage a few words."

"What can I say?" Olivia asks. "You wore me out."

A deep laugh bubbles up from Elliot's stomach and she can't help but join in. She's missed laughing with him and the whole night couldn't have gone more perfectly. But long-term isn't something she sees with him. She's had three lifetime's worth of pain and for some reason she's scared of going through anymore with him as the cause.

As much as she hates the very idea of existing anywhere outside of his arms right now, she knows the longer she stays the harder it'll be to leave.

"El I…"

"What is it Liv?" He asks. "What's wrong?"

She raises her head off his chest, already distancing herself.

"I have to go," Olivia answers. "I promised Lucy I'd be home before midnight."

Elliot watches as she gathers the top sheet from the bed and wraps herself in it, an exercise in modesty she hadn't been worried about minutes prior.

"Who are you, Cinderella?" He asks with a grin.

Olivia continues, picking up her corset and panties before disappearing into the hall to find her dress and heels.

"Are you actually leaving?" Elliot questions when she returns.

"I'm sorry but yes," she responds before entering his bathroom.

Five minutes later she returns redressed except for her underwear. He's stepping into his boxer briefs again as she leaves his bedroom. Once in the living room again, Olivia finds her purse, pulls out her car keys, stuffs her panties inside and heads for the elevator.

"So that's it?" Elliot asks, stopping her forward movement.

She turns, sees the hurt written on his face and goes to him.

"El I really…I just…I need to get home," Olivia repeats, looking back and forth between his eyes, urging him to understand.

"Okay," he rasps. "Okay."

She leans forward, giving him one last kiss. It's meant to be a simple peck but he pulls her in, deepening it beyond her intention until she has to pull away to breathe. Elliot rests his forehead against hers for a few seconds before releasing her.

"Bye Liv."

"I'll call you," she tells him.

They both know it's a lie.

Olivia backs away, turns and enters the elevator. Elliot holds her eyes until the door closes and the last image she has of him, is a look of sadness and something else she'd rather not see. After all, he's only been back in her life for a few lousy weeks.

She couldn't have possibly seen what she thinks she has.

Could she?

 **E/N: Rationalizations can be tricky things. Please review.**


	8. A Less Than Warm Reception

**A/N: These two, man…these two. Fair warning folks, you may need a few tissues. Also, I'm sleepy and there will likely be spelling or grammatical errors. I sincerely tried though.**

January 28th, 2017

The church was beautifully decorated, like something out of a fairytale. The personally written vows inspired more than one person to shed a tear or two. And the ongoing reception in the grand ballroom of The Plaza hotel is like nothing she's ever imagined for herself.

The ceiling and roman-inspired columns are white with trimmings and filigree in gold and the carpeted floor has a parquet floater, placed for dancing. The round tables and chairs are trimmed in cream and burgundy cloth. The centerpieces are crystal vases with overhanging white roses and burgundy dahlias, surrounded by tealight candles floating in water.

Olivia leans against a column, watching the festivities, forever feeling as if she's on the outside looking in.

"This could be you ya know," a voice says from behind.

She turns to find Kathleen holding two glasses of champagne. The younger woman hands one to her, which she gladly accepts.

"I doubt it," Olivia says. "This is all so…elaborate," she tells her. "And as beautiful as it is, it's a little too much for me."

"I know right," agrees Kathleen and surprising the lieutenant. "Don't get me wrong, I love it," she clarifies. "But this is what happens when my mother-in-law and my mom get very little input from me and Jacob and a nearly unlimited budget."

The two share a laugh at the confession.

"Still," Olivia begins, momentarily turning to look over the ballroom. "It's perfect."

"Thank you," she says. "And thanks for my wedding gift."

"But I didn't –

"You did," the blonde interrupts. "You made amends with my dad and I couldn't exactly have put that on the bridal registry at Barney's."

"True," she agrees, offering a smile grin.

"And he says he loves the way the loft turned out," Kathleen goes on. "Apparently, your personal touches made it more of a home for him."

They never finished the last two rooms so clearly, he doesn't mind lying to his kids when it suits him.

"He said that?"

"He did," she answers. "I'm surprised he hasn't told you."

"You know your father Kathleen," Olivia begins. "He tends to keep things to himself."

Especially since she's avoided him the last two weeks. But the new bride doesn't need those types of details.

"He's changed Liv," Kathleen points out. "My dad isn't the same buttoned-up guy who raised me," she adds. "When I saw you two walking in together, I thought –

"There she is," a tall, handsome man with jet black curly hair and striking green eyes interrupts them. "I was looking for the most beautiful woman here and what'll you know, turns out I'm already married to her."

Kathleen smiles as she turns, rolling her eyes for effect.

"It's the ball and chain already keeping track of me," she tells him but meets his lips for a short kiss anyway.

Olivia smiles as she looks on. The relationship they have is as loving as newlyweds should be, something to be desired. And their banter is frighteningly familiar.

"Wanna dance?" Jacob asks, stepping up behind his bride to wrap her in his arms, already swaying.

"Sounds like a great idea," Elliot chimes in, surprising Olivia as he appears over his son-in-law's shoulder.

Kathleen looks between her dad and Olivia, getting an idea.

"I will if you will," she tells the lieutenant.

"Actually, I was just -

"Don't even think about leaving," the young woman interrupts. "It's still early and I haven't even thrown the bouquet yet."

"One dance," Elliot urges.

She hates that he's shamelessly using his daughter to manipulate her, but with a hopeful Kathleen looking on, she's loathed to say no. She puts out of her mind what happened after their last whirl to music.

"Okay, fine," she acquiesces. "One dance."

The four of them head to the floor, and as their feet hit the parquet, the DJ changes the music to something slower.

' _Of course,'_ Olivia thinks.

But she keeps up appearances. She doesn't move away when Elliot wraps an arm around her waist. It's instinctual to place one of hers around his shoulders while giving him her hand. And a relief when he leaves some space between them.

Olivia hadn't done so that night.

"You've been quiet today," Elliot begins. "Imagine my surprise when after two weeks of avoidance, you didn't back out of this."

"I don't break promises," she tells him. "You know that," she adds. "In fact, I'm damn sure you counted on it."

The two continue to smile as they periodically face Kathleen and Jacob, despite the nature and tone of their conversation.

"Why are you so angry Olivia?" He asks. "You're the one who left me this time, remember?"

"And you know why," she insists. "What happened between us was a mistake," she adds. "I told you from the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship."

Elliot drops her hand to put both arms around her waist and she has no choice but to put both of hers around his shoulders.

"It didn't feel like a mistake," he said, closing the distance between them.

Olivia looks over his shoulder to avoid his eyes. Between the soft music, his scent and his voice in her ear, she's starting to get flashes from the night they spent together.

After the one cup of coffee she'd agreed to, came another. With that, deeper conversation, some reminiscing about the good old days and endless smiles and laughter.

" _So, what do you think my chances of a second date are?" He'd asked, as they relaxed against his sofa cushions facing one another._

 _The smile had fallen from Olivia's face and she'd sighed._

" _I really don't think we should El," she'd told him. "As much fun as this has been, the way you just…left…I mean, we can't even say we're friends at this point."_

 _Elliot looked disappointed as he rose from the couch. She thought he was about to show her the door so she did the same._

 _Then she heard the music._

 _Labrinth's Jealous, floated out into the loft from a hidden audio system she hadn't known he possessed. Olivia stopped all forward movement, near the barstools of his kitchen._

" _If this is gonna be our first and last date," he'd said. "I'm not gonna miss the opportunity to dance with you."_

There was hesitation on her part but in the end, she'd held out her hand. Elliot took the short distance to embrace her, and they swayed to the touching song.

She was so emotional from the truth she'd found in the lyrics, that it was she who'd began kissing him. Conveniently, she doesn't recall who began moving towards his bedroom, or who reached to undo a clasp, a button or a zipper first. But their hands and lips roamed one another's bodies shortly after.

Her first orgasm came from his mouth, the second from his fingers and the third from feeling all of him inside her with the slow building, rhythmic movement of his hips. Her premonition for the night was mostly accurate, they did end up in that behemoth of a bed.

Only she wasn't the one on top, and there was no preceding argument.

"Liv," he says, breaking her from her thoughts. "The song's over,"

Fortunately, a new, faster song starts and no one notices the blush that overtakes her usually olive skin.

"Right, sorry," she tells him.

"We need to talk."

Elliot leads her off the floor by the hand but doesn't let go once they hit carpet. She follows him behind a curtain to one of the quieter wings, away from the music and people.

"I really should be getting home," she tells him. "I promised Lucy I'd only be gone a few hours since it's her day off."

"When are you gonna stop using Noah as an excuse?"

She'd done the same the night they'd made love. Not ten minutes after, she hurriedly redressed, made a beeline for the elevator, nearly losing her nerve and the desire to leave after their last kiss.

"I don't need an excuse Elliot," Olivia says. "I don't owe you anything."

"The hell you don't," he asserts, stepping closer.

Despite not fearing him, she instinctively takes a step back. That righteous indignation of his, knowing what she's just told him is bullshit, has her feeling slightly intimidated.

"Look," she begins. "We've long since shared a physical attraction to each other and that night we just…finally satisfied our curiosities," she reasoned. "That's all."

His face flushes in anger at the rationalization and she knows it's only a matter of time before he loses his shit altogether. But to her surprise, he steps back and takes a breath instead of blowing up.

"I didn't make love to you to satisfy any curiosities, Olivia," he explains and she can see the muscles in his jaw working overtime. "It's not even something I expected."

Elliot didn't say he had sex with her or that he fucked her. He said he made love to her, reiterating what she saw in his eyes just before she left that night knowing she absolutely didn't want to.

Love.

Olivia believes it's too early. They hadn't been reconciled for a month before that passionate night. Therefore, in her mind, not only shouldn't he be feeling so deeply about her, but he sure as hell shouldn't be looking at her with it written all over his damn face.

Love and…heartbreak?

Shit. It wasn't supposed to go this way. He looked just as hurt as she was after Cragen advised her about him handing in those damn retirement papers, minus the tears. Perhaps turnabout is fair play. Then again, Olivia didn't mean to hurt him. But, her life is flourishing without him…has long since been working _without_ him.

She scoffs at his last words.

"You're gonna pretend you were surprised?"

"Course I was," Elliot contends. "Mostly because you were the one to initiate things despite the fact that you kept saying that you and I were a bad idea."

"Well now I'm initiating the end of whatever the hell you think this has turned into," she says, pushing past him.

He takes her hand as she passes, stepping into her space again.

"So that night…it meant _nothing_ to you?" He asks, and she can feel his warm breath on the side of her face. "Because with the way you touched me, responded to me when I touched you Liv…that wasn't nothing."

She knows. But she's too stubborn and fully in denial to admit it. When he begins rubbing his thumb against the top of her hand, her eyes momentarily slip closed.

"You were right," he continues. "We can't go back to how things were before I decided to leave," he adds. "And there's no way in hell I'd expect you to forget everything that happened afterwards."

"Then what _are_ you expecting Elliot?" She asks, facing him.

"For you to acknowledge that what happened between us wasn't some fluke or because you were fucking curious," he answers. "When you damn well know the real reason."

Olivia abruptly pulls out of his grasp.

"Then what do you think it was?"

"Inevitable," he responds. "You gave me thirty days to redeem myself and even though we didn't make it past a few weeks…I was under the mistaken impression that I had," he adds. "So why are you so hell bent on holding onto your anger and keeping me at a distance?"

Over the audio system they can hear someone calling Elliot's name for the parent's dance. He sighs and rubs a hand against his forehead, hating to have to end the conversation.

"You'd better go," she tells him.

"We need to finish this Liv."

"It is finished," Olivia returns, backing away, grabbing the skirt of her gown, then moving towards the nearest exit like the fairytale princess he accused her of being.

Hearing his name repeated over the loud speaker, he has no choice but to seek out his ex and participate in the traditional dance.

Afterwards, toasts are made to the bride and groom, food and booze are merrily guzzled and a few hours later everyone is wishing the newlyweds well as they drive away in their limo.

Elliot sits at the head table, cell in hand, after checking it for the millionth time to make sure he didn't miss any texts or calls from Olivia.

He hasn't.

"You guys put on a good show," Kathy says, sitting next to him.

"What are you talking about?" Elliot asks.

"I was married to you for over half my life," she begins. "I know what your _'keeping up_ _appearances'_ face looks like."

"I don't have anyone to keep up appearances with."

"Now you're just being insulting," she tells him. "If you and Olivia have so happily reconciled then why did she leave the first chance she got?"

"She has a son to get home to."

"Right," she says, not stopping to inquire about Olivia's newly-minted status as a mother. "And I guess that's why she's not responding to your messages either."

"How do you—

"The better question is, why you're still sitting here instead of going after her," Kathy interrupts, surprising the hell out of him.

"Let me see if I can wrap my head around this insane conversation," Elliot begins. "After years of wanting me out of SVU because you said it was killing me and our marriage, you later admit in counseling that it was also partially because of my bond with Olivia."

"True."

"Now you're okay with me pursuing a relationship with her?"

"Also true," Kathy tells him. "Look—you and I are no longer married, we're in a good place and I've always known that she was the only woman that could rightly handle the complexity of Elliot Stabler."

He fails miserably at trying to hide a smile because he knows it's true. Yet, the grin is short-lived.

"She doesn't want me."

"I saw the way you two looked at each other, the way you danced as if there was no one else in the room," Kathy points out. "If she's trying to lead you to believe she doesn't want you, then she's not very convincing and you should know that better than I do."

"I know," he confirms. "It's just—she's as stubborn as I am and even more so when she's been hurt Kath," he goes on. "And as much as I've apologized for it, I know I did more damage with the way I left than probably anyone else in her life," he reveals. "I can't really blame her."

"Well," his ex begins, standing. "You can use this fresh therapy induced patience and wait for her to forgive you or…you can be the relentless son of a bitch you've always been," she adds, garnering a small smile. "Do what you want Elliot, I'm going to find my husband."

It still sounds weird sometimes that she's no longer referring to him when she says that but, she successfully drove home her point.

February 11th, 2017

He tries patience first, giving Olivia a full week to return any of his text messages or call him back after leaving multiple voicemails the night of the wedding. Elliot contemplated stopping by the 1-6 on multiple occasions but decided that ambushing her at work wasn't the classiest thing to do…again.

It was the second week on a Saturday, when he decided that reverting to his _'dog with a bone'_ ways as Kathy suggested, was the way to go if he wanted a headstrong, passionate, driven but equally bullheaded woman like the lieutenant back in his life.

Olivia had just put Noah down for his afternoon nap after a morning of reading stories and playing make-believe when she heard several knocks to her door. In looking through the peep hole she's surprised to find Elliot standing on the other side.

"What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," he answers. "Mind if I come in?"

Olivia doesn't respond but leaves the door open as she steps away to begin picking up her son's toys.

"How's Noah?"

"Good," she tells him. "Napping just now."

After helping her return everything to the bin near the window, Olivia turns to face him, hands stuffed in the front of her jeans pockets, waiting.

"I've been trying to talk to you."

"I know," she admits. "I just…didn't think there was anything left to say."

Elliot steps closer to her.

"You didn't answer when I asked if that night meant nothing to you," he points out. "I know you said it was a mistake but I find it hard to believe all you wanted from me was a one-night-stand."

He's never been so vulnerable with her and she realizes besides his patience, his stunted flash to anger and his willingness and ability to communicate…it's the biggest change of all.

Olivia can't lie to him.

"No," she all but whispers. "It didn't mean nothing," she admits. "One-night-stands aren't a habit I have and I sure as hell never expected—

"—for me to be one of them?"

"No."

He steps closer still and he's officially in her personal space again.

"I always thought if that were to happen between us that –

"—it would lead to something more," Olivia finishes for him.

Elliot takes both her hands in his, eyes focused on them as he rubs his thumbs across her fingers.

"I like the way this feels Liv," he begins cautiously, examining her tan colored rug instead of her eyes. "That night before anything else…you, you made fun of all my old corny jokes, we told each other things we probably were too scared to deal with the entire time we were partners."

His voice has become so affected she thinks if his eyes stray from the floor she may see tears.

"And you smiled," Elliot continues. "God…more than I remember you ever doing and I thought, wow," he adds. "This…this is what has been absent from my life."

Olivia's own eyes are now burning with unshed tears.

"And it's not because I don't have anyone to share my bed or that I don't get enough time with my kids," he contends. "It's you Liv…it's just…it's you."

He steps forward then, leaning his forehead against hers. She squeezes her eyes closed and the tears freely fall.

"And I know you're doing just fine without me…Noah's amazing, he's a great kid," he asserts, pulling away to finally meet her eyes. "Cragen couldn't be prouder of the work you've done if you were his own flesh and blood," he adds. "You seem to have everything you need but…I was hoping you could make some room for me."

"El –

"I know I hurt you Liv and—

"El –

"—nothing I can say or do to fix it but –

"Elliot –

"—willing to do whatever it takes –

This time it's Olivia who cuts him off. She does so with a short kiss to his lips before having to lean away from him trying to deepen it.

"Does that mean you wanna try?" He asks, hopeful.

"It means I want you to shut up long enough for me to get a few words in," she responds, wiping the wetness of tears from her cheeks.

He exhales a disappointed sigh but nods his agreement to listen. Olivia takes one of his hands and leads him over to the sofa where they both sit.

"You're right," she begins. "You hurt me…didn't do as much damage as my mother but –

"I'm sorry."

"I know El, I know," she says. "I'm not looking for another apology," she adds. "Just…please listen."

He scoots back into the opposite corner, giving her space.

"Okay."

"It took a long time to get over the way you left," she admits. "To…get over _you_ ," she pinpoints. "I was promoted, I was horribly victimized, I entered into relationships with enthusiasm and hope…only to end them either for not being what I needed or for not wanting what they turned into."

Elliot looks as if he wants to reach for her or has another apology on his lips but refrains from both.

"But the best of all that has been my son," she continues. "And the worse…the absolute worse was after _everything_ , was still wanting you there."

He moves closer but she puts a hand up, stopping his forward progress.

"I somehow expected to see your face in the crowd during my sergeant's ceremony," she goes on. "I imagined you being the first to find me when I was taken by that psychopath."

"I would've killed him," he contends, unable to stay silent on the subject.

"I know," Olivia accepts. "And…when I got Noah, I knew the only person that would be just as happy, was you," she adds, wiping away more tears.

"I am Liv."

"Things have been good for us," she informs him. "Noah and I, we have a routine down and despite being shorthanded, things at work have been going as well as they can be."

"But?"

"But a couple of months ago, I walked into my office at my regular time expecting it to be a regular day," she responds. "Only it wasn't because…you were there."

"I was."

"Then…that night happened and we talked like we never have, danced like I didn't know you could," Olivia adds, garnering a smile from him. "And made love like –

"—like we were saying hello and goodbye at the same time," Elliot concludes.

"Yeah," she agrees. "And I was laying there afterwards thinking how easy it was to wind up in your bed, how natural it felt to be in your arms," she tells him. "And how terrified I was to realize how much I wanted it…needed it."

"So, it wasn't a mistake," he says, eluding to her comment at the wedding before reaching for her hands again. "It scares me that you don't think we have a chance."

Olivia pulls away and moves to stand in front of the window, her back to him.

"What scares me…is what could happen if I _did_ give this a chance," she admits. "We sometimes have the tendency to bring out the worst in each other."

"But more often than not, we bring out the best Liv," Elliot counters as he stands from the sofa. "Can I ask you a question?"

She faces him again, gives him a short nod and prepares to answer.

"You said being with me felt natural," he begins. "But I wanna know…has the time we've spent together brought you any happiness?"

"El—

"Because it has for me Liv," he continues, stepping closer. "But if I don't make you happy, if I don't…make you wanna kiss me more often than I make you wanna kick me in the balls…"

Olivia tries, but fails to hide a small smile as she looks down and away before meeting his eyes again.

"Then this should be our goodbye," Elliot concludes, becoming serious again. "Right here and now," he adds. "Because I was an idiot to think that you could forgive me or that being your friend could ever be enough."

Her eyes instantly have the sheen of tears as they stand watching each other for what seems an eternity but is more than likely only a minute. Elliot takes her silence for an answer and he's the first to move, erasing the distance between them and placing warm palms against her neck.

He leans in, brushing his lips against hers before capturing them altogether. He moves them slowly before tenderly biting her lower lip causing her mouth to open. It's his opportunity to get inside, sliding his tongue alongside hers until she's kissing him back.

She furrows her brows as they continue as if trying to concentrate on not forgetting the way he tastes, the texture of his lips and how good it would be to pretend she wasn't aware of the damage they could do to one another.

He lowers his arms to encircle her waist, pulling her tightly to his body. Olivia moves to put hers around his shoulders, caressing the skin at his nape with her fingers. Surrendering to him would be so easy if not for the absolute terror of losing even more of herself to him than he already possesses.

But faster than Elliot began, he stops kissing her.

"I love you Liv," he says, after pulling away. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

He steps back and moves hurriedly for the door. Because just as it was for Olivia the night she spent with him, if he stays any longer it'll just be more difficult to leave.

She wants to stop him but by the time she comes to her senses, he's already gone. Letting him go, despite her logic and sound reasoning, feels instantly like a mistake.

With David it hurt like hell, mostly because he helped mend her heart after Elliot. But she knew their careers were too intertwined to work.

Cassidy was a replay on a very fun night. Things were exciting and new again until that psychopath abducted her. Then she realized that doing long-term wasn't exactly Brian's cup of tea. She'll always love him for the sole fact that he helped her heal through the worse thing that's ever happened to her. But, it was yet another relationship that wasn't made to last.

And then there's Tucker.

Having a drink with him out of curiosity turned into enjoying having a shoulder to lean on and an ally in IAB, to just…having someone on the other end of the phone or in her bed that was dependable.

Olivia was happy.

Then he asked her to think about retirement. And, if she couldn't lay down her shield the first time she tried to adopt to make herself a better candidate, she sure as hell wasn't going to do it for him.

The end with David brought heartache. The end with Brian, disappointment. And with Tucker, a surprising bit of relief. Though she and Elliot weren't in a relationship, him walking away feels like she's lost a part of herself…again.

Especially after uttering those three words to her.

It was supposed to be a reconciliation. A simple attempt at two people who used to be connected beyond what being coworkers required, trying to remember what was good about their partnership.

What it wasn't supposed to be was a list of why he's missed her followed by heated kisses, beautiful flowers on her desk, a sensuous neck massage and a dinner invitation that she should've declined.

It certainly wasn't meant to turn into a night of smiles and laughter, reminiscing and dancing, whispers against lips or multiple orgasms under the light of a full moon.

Most of all things that weren't designed for their reunion…was his profession of love.

Olivia lowers herself to the couch, resting both elbows on her knees as she covers her face with her palms, and hopes the sound of her weeping isn't loud enough to wake Noah.

"Love you too El," she whispers to herself. "I love you too."

 **E/N: If this got you right in the feels, I'm sorry okay? But please don't be too emotional or angry at me to review.**


	9. Letting the Bullshit Go

**A/N: Last chapter folks. And to the guest reviewer who suggested Elliot's action bordered on harassment, I say to you, reread Olivia's responses to him. She never tells him to stop calling her, she keeps meeting with him and she responds, enthusiastically so, to each touch and kiss. In her office in Chapter 7 he even tells her,** _ **"If you really want me gone, you know all you have to do is ask…"**_ **She never does. And lastly, it was her who initiated their love making session. I gotta say, I don't think Olivia feels the least bit harassed my friend…lol. Happy reading people!**

February 13th, 2017

" _I love you Liv," he says after pulling away. "I hope you find what you're looking for."_

It dawned on her in that instant that just maybe, he is exactly what she's been looking for and…waiting for, if she's being honest. But still, it took a couple of days for Olivia to find herself in his building.

When she's greeted by the doorman, she takes it as a good sign that Elliot hasn't given everyone her picture and told them to keep her the hell out of his lofts on sight. She thought for sure the man at the reception desk would've stopped her too, but it didn't happen. She enters the elevator, turns the key, and ascends smoothly to his floor just as she had every other time.

When the doors open to his place, Olivia's hit with the wonderful aroma of something sweet baking. She continues inside and finds Elliot in the kitchen, sleeves pushed up on his Islanders t-shirt, clad in dark jeans.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

He's at the center island squeezing icing onto a pan of heart shaped cookies and doesn't bother pausing long enough to meet her eyes.

"To return this."

She retrieves his key from her pocket, sliding it along the speckled granite towards him. He follows the sound of the metal scraping along the counter but still doesn't bother looking up from his task.

"Could've just as easily mailed it."

There was a reason she couldn't tell him to go to hell the day he walked back into her life after years of silence. All the elements that made up their partnership is what she's sought in every relationship since it ended nearly six years ago. And despite her doubts and fears of them not making it, she knows no one will fight harder with her to sustain what they've found than the man she allowed to walk out of her life…a second time.

Olivia calls herself a changed woman, capable of voicing not just her incredibly strong opinions but her fears. And though she managed to confess them possibly bringing out the worst in each other, she didn't tell him anything else.

"I needed to see you."

This gets his attention and he finally looks up, though Olivia almost wishes he hadn't. He looks about 20% hurt and about 80% pissed. She was already nervous enough but dealing with him in his current state has her a little intimidated now.

"You've seen me," he manages, calmly. "Now you can go."

"I…no," she says. "No, I need to talk to you."

"Really?" Elliot asks, with a tilt of his head. "I was under the impression there was nothing left to say," he tells her, dropping the tube of icing on the counter. "We said our goodbyes two days ago Olivia."

She stuffs her gloves in her coat pockets, lays it and her scarf over one of the low-backed bar stools and rests her purse on its seat, preparing to stay.

"I was wrong."

"About?"

"God, you aren't gonna make this easy, are you?"

He rounds the counter quickly, stopping two feet in front of her.

"I poured my heart out to you," he fumes. "I practically fucking begged you to forgive me and give us a chance," he adds. "And you turned me down," he reminds her. "So, hell no I'm not about to make it easy to say whatever the fuck you came here to say."

Olivia tears up and looks to the floor but she's resolved not to let him push her into an argument so that she'll leave.

"No—you know what," he begins. "Whatever it is, I _don't_ wanna hear it," he says returning to the kitchen and grabbing an oven mitt. "Push the 'lobby' button and it'll take you down without the key," he adds, removing one last tray of cookies from the oven before turning it off.

"No," she repeats.

"Excuse me?" He asks, watching as she moves over to the pool table on the opposite side of the room.

"You heard me," Olivia responds. "I'm not leaving until you hear me out," she explains. "So how about we play one game of 8-ball and if I lose, you never have to see me again."

"You're serious?"

Elliot looks at her as if she's lost her damn mind.

"I am," she says, picking out a cue and chalking it up. "It's not exactly an ultimatum but what the hell, right?"

"Don't you have to be getting home to Noah?" He asks, eying his watch. "I only ask because you usually use him to get you out of shit you don't really wanna deal with."

She winces as if he's slapped her but ignores the dig.

"John's picking him up for me," Olivia answers. "Something about teaching him to question authority and bonding over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," she adds. "Now quit stalling Stabler."

He rounds the counter and approaches the pool table, crossing his arms against his chest once he reaches it.

"What's to stop me from just calling IAB and making a formal complaint about you harassing me and refusing to leave?"

Dejected, she takes a deep breath, returns her chosen cue to the rack and heads past him for her things, never believing it would come to that. Olivia makes it to a corner pocket where Elliot is planted when he grabs her hand, pulling her in front of him.

Her eyes are shimmering with tears and when they begin to fall she looks away but doesn't try to stop them. Instead it's him who reaches over to frame her face with his hands, swiping at the moisture with both thumbs.

"What are you doin' Liv?" He rasps.

"I-I'm sorry," she manages. "I'll leave if that's what you really want."

"You know it's not," Elliot says, dropping his hands to his sides. "So just—just say what you came to say."

The lieutenant takes a deep breath, settling herself and trying to staunch the tears.

"I shouldn't have let you leave that day," she begins. "I should've stopped you from walking out."

"I thought I didn't make you happy Liv," he reminds her. "I thought you were too scared to take a chance on a relationship."

"I am," she admits. "But I don't wanna keep having moments in my life that I wish you were a part of."

"You're here because you don't wanna be alone?" Elliot asks.

"No, El," she says instantly. "I'm here…because you are."

"What are you saying?"

Olivia moves closer, placing tentative hands on his chest.

"I'm saying…I _have_ wanted to kiss you more often than I've wanted to kick you in the balls," she admits, trying for a smile in him that doesn't quite manifest. "I'm saying Noah and I, we're fine—and I don't need someone to make us any more of a family than we already are—there's nothing missing from that but—I want this with you Elliot and I'm tired—I've spent the last six weeks waiting to stop thinking about you, waiting to forget how good being with you felt but more than that I've waited the last six _years_ to stop looking for your face in a crowd and I just—I'm tired of waiting for—

Elliot quickly erases the distance between them, palms her face again and cuts off her rambling with his lips. She opens her mouth to his and he kisses her deeply and passionately as if he's trying to consume her.

The heat immediately begins to build in the pit of her stomach and Olivia finds the need to get her hands on his bare flesh. She lifts his t-shirt, smoothing her palms up his abdomen to feel his chest before sliding them around to his back.

Elliot tugs at her blouse and she pulls away from his lips long enough to unclip her badge, remove her holster and lay them on the green felt behind her. He wastes no time reconnecting to her mouth as he unbuttons her slacks, and slides the zipper down.

"You want me?" He whispers against her lips.

Their breaths have increased, hearts wildly pounding and are both nearly vibrating with need.

"Yes," she answers, using both hands to pull off her red blouse and the black tank underneath in one swoop.

Elliot's eyes darken to a storm laden blue as the sight of her breasts wrapped in pink satin trimmed in white lace comes into view. He drops his lips to the smooth column of her neck, then her cleavage and finally, he pulls aside one cup of her bra to release a blush colored nipple.

Olivia leans back, palming the back of his head to encourage him to apply more pressure.

"Mm, God El."

He grazes the hardened nub with his teeth before letting Olivia feel the heated texture of his tongue while he slips a hand inside the matching panties. Evidence of just how much she wants him coats his thick fingers as he begins a delicious friction beneath her dark curls.

"Fuck Liv."

She knows, she knows.

The way she's keyed up and on the edge, Olivia is well aware that it won't be long before she's welcoming her first orgasm and so does he. Elliot continues manipulating her sensitive folds with his adept fingers, working her into a heated frenzy of erratic breaths until it hits her full force. He holds her waist after feeling her slip, Olivia's legs having weakened.

But they're not done.

After the initial tremors subside she steps out of her boots, then drops her slacks altogether before stripping the bra from her body.

Elliot is near violent when he pulls his t-shirt over his head, drops his jeans and taking his blue boxer briefs with him before descending on his ex-partner.

He melds his mouth to hers again, slides the useless panties down her legs, picks her up and sits her on the edge of the pool table, standing between her thighs as she wraps them around his waist.

"Still, yes?" He whispers in her ear.

"Hell yes."

This time it's Olivia who invades his mouth with her tongue as he buries himself inside her with his first stroke. He pulls out almost completely then sinks into her warmth again, stealing her breath with the second.

They are pelvis, to pelvis, chest to chest with her arms and legs wrapped around Elliot's body and it's difficult to tell where he begins and she ends.

Olivia loosens her hold as he continues undulating his hips and she's rewarded with the palming of her left breast as he moves, massaging the fullness he's found and teasing her pert nipple with his thumb.

"Shit," she manages.

"God, I've missed you," he says.

"Mm, me too," Olivia tells him. "Faster El."

Elliot increases the speed as she asks, gripping part of her ass with one hand and the lip of the table for leverage.

He's working up a sweat and she kisses his fevered brow as he works to get both of them over the edge.

"So close," she warns him.

"I know."

Elliot pulls her left thigh higher on his hip, allowing him to get deeper, hitting her spot at a more purposeful angle. It doesn't take long for Olivia to begin spasming around him, milking his own powerful orgasm, causing him to climax along with her.

His face is dampened with sweat, her hair is matted with it and both are breathing as if they've just run a marathon. He doesn't immediately pull out, instead using what's left of his energy to hold her legs comfortably as he rests his head against the curve of her neck.

For Olivia's part she cradles him, putting one arm around his back and the other hand on his nape. And, after a few minutes, their breaths even out, their heartbeats return to normal and their bodies begin to cool.

Elliot smoothly separates himself from her and bends to slip on his underwear then scoops up his t-shirt, sliding it over her head as she puts her arm inside the sleeves.

"You planning on rushing out of here?"

Olivia shakes her head in the negative.

"No."

Elliot simply nods as she plants her hands on his shoulders so he can help her down. One of her legs nearly gives out with the first step and he reaches out to steady her, both hands at her waist.

"Thanks."

He releases her to grab his jeans from the floor and slip them back on as she gathers her clothes and heads towards his bedroom.

"I'm gonna take a shower."

"I'll finish up in here and put everything away," he says. "Then…we can finish talking."

"Okay."

When Olivia walks into his bathroom, her mouth hangs open for a moment. Zero attention was paid to the details when last she was there. She can fit her bedroom inside the bathroom. It's designed in cream, copper and gray natural stones with a walnut floor.

He has his and her sinks and cabinets in a combination of bronze, marble and oak plus a stand-alone porcelain tub next to the amazing walk-in shower. It looks as if at least six people can fit.

She thinks she'll have to propose to _him_ in a few months just to be able to use the rainfall showerhead plus however many jets are coming out of the wall. There's even a bench to sit on after long days and her mind is overwhelmed with the possibilities.

Olivia smiles to herself as she pulls his t-shirt from her body, adjusts the temperature of the water then reaches for a towel before climbing in.

She takes her time relishing in the warmth of the water before reaching for his body wash. She'll smell like whatever 'alpine fresh' is but her skin will be clean. After lathering her towel, washing up and rinsing off she reaches for the shampoo.

Axe Apollo, 2 in 1 Deep Clean.

God, she's going to smell like the man from head to toe. She obviously enjoys his scent, but Olivia prefers a more feminine combination of aromas on her own body.

She's wrapping herself in one of his plush bath towels when she notices him leaning against the doorway, chest still bare, jeans hanging open. And, he's eying her from towel dried hair to black -cherry painted toenails.

If Elliot keeps staring at her like that, she'll need another shower.

"You find everything okay?"

"Yeah," she says, approaching him.

"I sent your clothes to the cleaners," he informs her as she searches for and finds a hairdryer in a drawer. "They'll deliver them first thing in the morning."

He wants her to stay until morning.

"Oh."

"That a problem?" Elliot asks.

"No—no problem," she tells him. Even if it were she'd have nothing to wear home. "John's supposed to have Noah overnight and take him to preschool in the morning anyway," she continues. "I'll just have to leave early enough to go home and change."

"Good," he says. "I laid out one of my shirts and a pair of boxers for you on the bed," he adds, pulling off his pants and lifting the lid of the hamper. "I ordered Thai. Hope that's okay."

Olivia's about to respond when he pulls off his underwear.

"I uh," she begins, averting her eyes. "Thai sounds good."

Elliot smirks but doesn't comment on her need to look away.

"It'll be here in about fifteen minutes," he concludes before stepping into the shower.

After checking a few drawers, she discovers a blow dryer. She begins drying her hair and is overjoyed that he didn't mention the visible blush on her tan skin. Olivia pauses momentarily to look at her reflection.

A face free of make-up but has a certain glow that can't be matched with any line from MAC or Clinique. Damp locks, curling defiantly against her neck, tattooed with several love bites. And as she raises the towel to confirm, bruises from where he gripped her thighs as he drove into her.

But what she notices the most, is the silly grin that keeps making an appearance across her face like she's developed some schoolgirl crush. It's ridiculous. Sophomoric even. And if he noticed, it'd be more embarrassing than Elliot busting her trying to avoid ogling his naked body.

Yet…it feels wonderful.

Olivia Benson is standing in a bath towel, blow drying her hair, with Elliot Stabler in the shower, after they've had sex. It's all incredibly domestic and…surprisingly natural. She's going to discuss being in a relationship with someone who knows her better than anyone. Someone she can't hide from. And the clencher is she doesn't want to run screaming in the other direction.

She gives up on trying to dry her hair with his underpowered blow dryer, heads out the bedroom and dresses in the boxers and dress shirt he's laid out for her. But with his hardwood floors, socks are certainly a necessity, so she goes on a hunt.

"Can I help you?" He asks, leaning against his bedroom doorway newly clad in a green pair of briefs.

"My uh, my feet are cold," she explains, having been caught red-handed pulling open his drawers. "I was hoping to find a pair of socks."

He moves further inside the room, opens one drawer to retrieve a pair of sweat socks for her, then a couple of others to put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants.

"El—

"Liv—

They both try and start at the same time when they hear the doorbell.

"I'll get it," he tells her.

Olivia follows him and gets two bottles of Fiji out of the fridge while he carries the bag to the dining table and removes the containers.

"Unless you'd rather eat in the kitchen?" He asks.

"No," she tells him. "This is fine," she adds. "I feel like I'm always on the go and haven't really sat down to eat at an actual dining table since…"

Since Elliot took her to dinner, invited her back here, danced and tenderly made love to her before she ran out on him.

"Well...it's been awhile," Olivia tells him, digging into her Tom Yum Goong. "So, what's up with all the cookies?"

"They're for Eli," he answers. "He has a Valentine's Day party at his school tomorrow and I had to make three different batches," he explains. "One sugar-free, one gluten-free and one regular batch for kids without allergies or helicopter moms."

"They smelled great," she says, smiling at his comment. "I'm guessing Baking 101 was in your recent list of classes?"

"French pastries to be exact," he corrects her. "But I'm pretty sure a bunch of nine-year-old kids won't care how intricately decorated my cookies are."

"True," she says then remembers the new furniture she _didn't_ help him choose. "You uh, you did an excellent job picking out everything else."

"Didn't really have a choice, did I?" He asks, working on his Pad Thai.

And there it is.

It's quiet between them for a few minutes as they eat.

"I'm sorry El," she says, suddenly. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance—I didn't wanna—

"Get hurt again," he finishes. "I know," he acknowledges. "You don't have to apologize Liv."

"Neither do you. Not anymore," Olivia tells him. "I get why you didn't come back, and it hurt like a bitch but holding onto that pain—that anger—never made me stop missing you."

"I thought you got over me," he reminds her.

"I deserve that," she admits, with a short nod. "But do you think it was easy riding in the car with someone new—feeding off someone else in interrogation or learning to trust someone to have my back all over again?"

He doesn't bother responding. They both already know the answer.

"So yeah, after faking it until I could make it," she continues. "One day…I looked around and…I didn't have to fake it anymore."

"I'm glad," he says sincerely. "Because severing our partnership…was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do Liv," he confesses. "It felt like…part of me died."

"I know the feeling," she says, covering his hand with hers, caressing her thumb over his knuckles. "It's the reason I was so hesitant to get close again," she admits. "Losing myself to you knowing you could decide to just disappear again one day was more than I wanted to deal with."

"And you haven't tried to _'lose yourself'_ to anyone else since I left?" Elliot asks.

She pulls her hand back, running it through her hair. David was the closest she came to even putting in the effort.

"Yeah," she confesses. "Tried. Just like you did with Linda," she adds making a point. "And here we both are after all this fucking time because we can't seem to find anyone else who can put up with our shit or knows us as well as we know each other."

He grins momentarily at her observation but then it's back to the seriousness of the conversation.

"Can you honestly say you've forgiven me?" Elliot asks.

"Yes," Olivia responds. "And I know that because I'm no longer angry every time I think about you or hear your name," she adds. "Now I find myself smiling or…blushing."

Elliot nods knowingly.

"You think you're really ready to give this a shot?" He questions.

"You're not?"

"I know what I want Liv," he tells her. "But what happens when you don't wanna delegate at work, when we don't see each other enough because of it, or I think Noah needs more discipline?" He asks. "Because like you said, sometimes we bring out the worst in each other."

Olivia pushes her chair from the table, gets up and straddles her former partner, putting her arms around his shoulders.

"We'll probably fight," she says simply, with a shrug of her shoulders. "But I'm counting on you to be the changed man you've been trying to convince me you've become since walking into my office."

"How so?" He asks, putting his arms around her.

"I'm counting on you to tell me when I'm taking you for granted," the lieutenant begins. "To come to my office on a romantic whim and bring me lunch," she adds, smiling as he gives her a wink. "To remind me that more often than not…we bring out the _best_ in each other," she continues. "And as for Noah, I'll be the disciplinarian because we both know he already has you wrapped around his little finger."

"Maybe," Elliot gives her. "But the kid's adorable."

"He's not the only one," Olivia says, giving him a short kiss on the lips.

"I'm a grown ass man Liv," he points out. "Not a toddler."

"Okay, what about sexy," she counters, placing another peck to his neck. "Or irresistible," she adds, kissing the other side of his neck.

"Better," he says, grinning.

"And in say…six months, feel free to ask me again if I'm sure," she suggests. "And when I am and we haven't killed each other, you can repeat the question at the year mark."

"Before I say yes," Elliot tells her. "I have one more question," he goes on. "It's the same question I had…before I left your apartment that day."

She doesn't wait for him to ask. Olivia covers his mouth with hers, slipping her tongue between his lips and kissing him possessively.

"You challenge me," she begins, after pulling away. "You drive me crazy, you're a natural with my son and you call me on my shit," she explains. "So yes El…you make me happy."

"You forgot great in bed," he says, smirking.

"Smart ass," she whispers against his lips.

"You love it," he manages before she's invading his mouth again.

"I love _you_ ," she asserts, after they come up for breath.

This news garners an immediate smile from him.

"You do, huh?" He asks, grinning.

His answer is simply another lingering kiss.

"So, is that a yes?" Olivia asks, sharing his grin.

"Absolutely."

She gives him one last kiss before climbing off Elliot's lap under his protest.

"Where you going?"

Olivia begins taking the empty containers and sticking them back in the bags.

"What's it look like?"

"I thought, you know…"

She looks down at his burgeoning erection and shakes her head.

"Thought what?" She questions. "That I was gonna ride you while you sit in that chair or better still, that you were gonna swipe all this leftover food out of the way and get me under you on this table?"

Elliot looks at her up and down, then at the table, then back at her all while she waits, placing an impatient hand on her hip.

"Well?"

"I gotta say, that neither one of those scenarios sound like a bad idea."

Olivia shakes her head as she continues clearing the mess.

"You're incorrigible."

He gets up and begins to help, taking the bags from her and carrying them into the kitchen to dump them in the waste bin as she follows.

"You're saying that doesn't sound appealing to you?" Elliot asks, approaching her and sliding his arms around her waist. "We did just have sex on that pool table not too long ago."

"We were both very emotional at the time," Olivia reasons. "Is that the plan?" She asks. "To Christen every surface of this place?" She asks. "I mean, our kids are gonna be eating on that dining table at some point," she adds. "And I doubt my back could take it."

He leans down and starts teasing her neck with his mouth.

"That's why God made bleach Liv," he tells her, causing her to laugh. "And I'd be perfectly happy to make the sacrifice and let you be on top."

"I'm starting to think you only want me for my body," Olivia says he continues his assault on her skin.

"You _have_ seen a mirror, right?" He asks, leaning away.

She backs out of his hold, walking towards the sofa.

"Come on, I was kidding."

"Ha, ha," she says, plopping down, grabbing the remote and powering on the television.

Elliot joins her shortly after, allowing space between them. He picks up the remote from the coffee table and turns the television off again.

"I know you were kidding El," Olivia says sincerely. "Can you turn it back on now please?"

"No."

"No?"

"Liv," he starts in that voice of his, before taking a deep breath. "Everything I told you last Saturday was true," he begins. "Even before Katie came up with her ultimatum, I missed you, I missed our friendship and having you in my life again, seeing you smile…I never thought I'd get the chance to spend time with you or fall in love with you."

Olivia meets his eyes but, she's moved beyond words.

"So, if being together means we only have sex on a bed, so be it."

She crawls over to him then sits sideways in his lap, takes his face in both palms and kisses him languidly.

"I already told you I knew you were kidding," she begins. "But I love when say sweet shit like that to me."

"I love when say sweet shit to me too," he counters with a grin.

"And for the record, I'm not opposed to sex in places other than a bed…obviously."

His smile deepens and his dimples are on full display.

"Really? Elliot asks. "Do tell."

"If I told you now, it'd take all the surprise out of it," Olivia reasons, sliding off his lap to stand.

Elliot watches hungrily as she sashays away from him towards the bedroom. He can see her unbuttoning the dress shirt she wears along the way.

"But," she continues, looking over her shoulder. "A bed is softer and offers so many more…possibilities."

Olivia drops the shirt to the floor, tantalizing him with the sight of her bare skin and he knows the shorts won't be far behind. He quickly hops off the couch and follows her path.

"I'm an idiot," he calls out. "Beds are my favorite Liv."

They've said nothing of having forever together. To call them bullheaded would be the understatement of the century. And because they're so damned much alike, they're bound to do something to piss each other off. If they'd decided to try to be together while partners, they would've undoubtedly had the steamiest, hottest love affair that either had ever experienced.

Then they would've spontaneously combusted.

Because they were different people then. Elliot was tired of the routine of SVU and only getting to have half of her. While Olivia worked even harder to ignore the lingering touches, the lust-filled glances and the desire to finally and blissfully give in.

Then life intervened to rip them apart and the decision was made for them.

Elliot is free in every sense of the word. His children are flourishing and he doesn't have the stress of trying to make ends meet. He is more liberal with the honesty of his emotions and the truth of his vulnerability.

Olivia is harder. Between William Lewis, running the squad and becoming a mother…she's had to be. The number of people she trusts are on a very concise list. And the men who've shared her bed showed her one thing.

None of them are Elliot.

So, they're giving it a shot. Maybe it'll last 6 months. Maybe it'll last 20 years. But they are finally letting all the bullshit go.

The End.

 **E/N: I know I usually end my stories with a flowery exchange between these two but try as I may, I had nothing. I chose a more fun and I believe natural exchange for them. Let me know what you think and thank you as always for reading**.


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